Remind Me (reprise- revisited)
by UnstopableArcricVamp
Summary: The Cullen's fall apart when Jasper has had it with Edward's demands. Moving to Italy is the last straw and he leaves for the Whitlock ranch to join Peter and Charlotte. Everyone lives in peace, except Bella who is raising Edwards child alone after a night of passion. What will happen when Jasper returns to Forks to repair the past? JxB PxC m for language and heavy themes
1. prequel: part one

_AN: Hello everyone! This is a rewrite of my original completed story_ _ **Remind Me**_ _(see my profile). When I started writing Remind Me, I was 15- in junior high school! Now, I have a degree in Creative Writing from Colorado State University (class of 2018 wooop! Wooop!) In December of 2016, I decided to rewrite this story to show you all, my loyal readers (and myself, of course) just how far I've come as an author and a storyteller. Fanfiction is where I started taking writing seriously. I wanted to come back to where I started. For all of you who have read my original story, I know you probably wished I had a sequel instead of a rewrite, but after rereading the original story, I realized it needed a lot of help, which is a good thing! So, I am rewriting this story before moving on to the sequel. I reread what I've rewritten of this story during the summer and dedicated some time to revising each chapter even further. There's just so many typos and grammar issues, I'm surprised that 215 of you were even able to make out what I was trying to say, which is more of a comment of how amazing you all are than anything else. I also thought some chapters should have stopped sooner or gone on later and that there's just too much reliance on Twilight as the back story. While this is a FanFiction and that's kind of the whole point, I just feel like there is so much different in my story than Twilight things should be further explained. So, just to verify the following changes to the first 17 chapters will be mostly grammatical and spelling ONLY. While there will be NO plot changes or story changes in these revisions, you may see some extra words and sentences scattered throughout the revisions. These changes are literally only editor changes to answer questions and make things clearer. So, if you have already read the first 17 chapters, you are more than welcome to reread the corrections, but I just want to make clear that you will not be missing anything major from these revised chapters if you don't. If you haven't started this story yet, sit back, relax, and get ready for an intense roller coaster! I'd like to thank all of my loyal readers for allowing me back into your lives again, and to those of you who are new to this world, welcome! One last thing before I let you all get to the story. I would just like the thank_ _ **GreenEyedLanaLee**_ _for betaing parts of this story._

 _I'd like to remind everyone that this story is rated_ _ **M**_ _for_ _ **mature content, heavy themes, and adult language.**_

 _As always, a review gets you a sneak peak of the next chapter._

 _Reminder: these aren't Stephenie Meyer's vampires_

 _enjoy_

 **five years before**

 **angela's house**

 **forks, washington**

 **bella**

 **prequel: part one**

"Ang, I'm never late," I told my best friend that day, almost six years ago. I was pacing in her room. "This can't be happening, can it? Not to me, right? Oh god, I think I'm going to throw up."

"Bella," Angela said. I ignored her and continued pacing across the hardwood floor. She was sitting on her bed against the wall with her computer in her lap.

"What am I going to do?" I asked, stopping and placing my hands on my knees.

"First thing you're going to do is sit down," she said. I ignored her again. Once the idea popped into my head, I couldn't get it out. _Pregnant_. I started pacing again. Angela got up and put her hands on my shoulders to stop me from wearing a hole in her floor.

"Stop. You need to sit down and relax," she said.

"Relax? Do you have any idea what my mind is going through right now? And you want me to relax! Are you insane?" I panicked and started crying. _Pregnant_. The word crossed my mind again. _By a vampire…_

"Well, you're not going to solve anything by freaking out. You need to go at this with a level head." She said. What she didn't know was that my possibility of being pregnant wasn't even the start of my problems. I found out my boyfriend was a vampire a few weeks after we started dating. I sort of figured it out. When I was almost hit by a car but survived because Edward jumped in front of it, I knew there was something…not human about him. I finally got it out of him but told him I loved him anyway…even if he didn't say it back, I knew he felt the same. I guess that's why when he finally did say it six weeks ago, I was so willing to give him everything.

"A level head? If now isn't the time to panic, then tell me, when is?" I started pacing again. She stopped me again and pushed me to the edge of the bed, so I was forced to sit.

"Now, take a breath," she hugged me. "Try to breathe."

"I can't," I said.

"Think of it this way, what's the worst that can happen? I mean, either way, things can be taken care of."

"The worst thing? I could be pregnant! Fifteen and pregnant! I'm smarter than this!" I pushed her away.

"Yeah, you are, Bella, but that's not the point." She said.

"You know what, you really suck at comforting me." I cried.

"I don't know what you want from me." Angela hugged me again.

"I want you to make this all go away. That's what I want from you," I fell into her comfort. I had no idea either of our lives would turn to this when we used to play with dolls in this room.

"I wish I could."

 _-rm-_

I decided to stay the night at Angela's that night. I couldn't face my father yet. Even if I didn't know if I was…or not, he would sense something was wrong. Charlie was great. I mean, the best dad a girl could ask for. There were times, though, a girl needs a mother, and right now, I needed one of my own. Moms are just better at dealing with that sort of thing. I remember when I got my period, I didn't tell Charlie for almost a year. It's not that I told him then either, he caught me coming home late after a tampon run and wanted to know why I was at the drugstore so late. I knew that was something he couldn't understand and when it happened, I thought I was dying. I wished I had a mom then too. My mom left my dad a few months after I was born. She was always a gypsy and got married to my dad after only knowing him for four weeks. I guess a baby in the mix was too much for her to handle. I didn't mind much, though. I never knew her, so I never knew what I was missing by not having her around. Things like this though, I wished she was.

Sure, I couldn't tell her that my vampire boyfriend knocked me up, but she'd have advice on how to make it all okay again. The truth was, I couldn't tell anyone my _vampire_ boyfriend knocked me up, not my dad, and not even Angela.

Angela could know my boyfriend knocked me up. My dad was going to have to know that my boyfriend knocked me up, but neither of them could know my _vampire_ boyfriend knocked me up, not even my make-believe mom. I pushed my candy covered chocolates around in my hand. Somehow those primary colors were so daunting.

"Hey, Bells. I've got something for you," Angela came back into her room with Sarah. Sarah was her Stanford law student sister, and her parents wouldn't let anyone go by not knowing how great Sarah was which left very little room for bragging about how great Angela was. The truth was, I felt really bad for her.

"Oh, hey, Sarah. I didn't know you were home."

"I just got here. I decided to come home for that pesky Christmas thing. You know, big family tradition and all," she laughed. I hugged her. In so many ways, Sarah was like my big sister, maybe even more so than Angela's.

"I'm glad you're home," I said.

"Me too. I heard you are having, um, some situations."

"Ang," I glare at Angela.

"What?"

"Why don't we just put it in the newspapers?"

"I thought she could help," Angela said.

"And I can. Why don't we go to the drugstore and stop off for some ice cream?" Sarah smiled.

"Thanks, but I can't even think about eating right now," I said.

"Well, you have time to change your mind. Come on." She held her hand out for me. I hesitantly took it and looked at Angela.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we have to know at some point, right? "Sarah asked.

"I don't want to know."

"But, we have to. There's no use in panicking if we don't even know what we're dealing with first, right?" Sarah said.

"I guess that makes sense. Fine, let's go. You're coming too, right?" I asked Angela.

"Of course." She smiled.

 _-rm-_

I was quiet in the back seat of Sarah's car as she drove to the drugstore. The sisters chatted, catching up on everything and it almost seemed like they forgot I was there in the darkness of the back seat. I liked it, and I certainly wasn't going to remind them that I was there. At that point, I was really glad that Sarah hadn't taken her clothes and pillows out from her car into her family's home. They allowed me a place to snuggle into and almost hide entirely away from reality.

In the pillows, my thumb hovered over his name. _Edward_. My boy- my ex-boyfriend. We haven't spoken since that night. That night I lost my virginity. So, I assumed he dumped me and just decided not to tell me. I didn't want to talk to him as much as he obviously didn't want to talk to me, but I pressed Edward's glowing name on the phone and texted him.

 _I know you don't care considering you've ignored me for six weeks. I didn't want to text you, but I feel like you have a right to know…again I don't know why. You apparently don't care about me…but I think I'm pregnant_

Send.

read 8:48

…

He was going to have to know sooner or later. I knew Angela thought I wasn't pregnant, and maybe even Sarah thought so too, but I knew me, and I knew my body, and I knew what we did that night.

"Bella!" Sarah shook my knee.

"Wait, what?"

"We're here," Sarah laughed, still shaking me back into reality. Crap. I don't like it here. I wanted nothing more to go back into my fortress of pillows and no reality.

"Oh. Right. Sorry, I think I just blanked or something."

"I'll say," She laughed, and we all headed into the store.

In the 'family planning aisle,' which I never understood why they called it that, I stared at the mountains of pregnancy tests.

"You're kidding, right? Why are there so many?" I asked.

"Sarah?" Angela asked.

"To trick you into buying the most expensive one, obviously," she rolled her eyes. "I mean look at this one: 'curved handle with a wider tip for easier results.'"

"Why is it easier?" I asked.

"I guess so you don't pee on yourself?" Angela said.

"I'm glad you're having so much fun with this," I sighed.

"I agree with Bella. If you're not ready to have a little pee on your hand, then you're not ready to be a mom, am I right?"

"Oh, then I'll take this one," I smiled softly, and took the box with the fancy curved handle test from Sarah.

"Bells, it's so expensive. Why not get this one instead?" Angela showed me a cheap generic one without all the fancy curved handles and wide tips and such.

"You heard your sister, I am not ready to be a mom. I don't want pee on my hand," I said and threw the pink and white box into our little basket.

 _-rm-_

Back at Angela's, I drank my weight in Sunny D like I was _Juno_ or something. I never thought that would be me when I first saw that movie. Then again, I didn't think I'd ever have a boyfriend, and I definitely didn't think I'd have a _vampire_ boyfriend. I sat in the bathroom by myself waiting and longing for an answer to pop up on any of the tests, Angela decided it was a good idea to get a couple more tests just in case one was faulty or something. It's funny to think now that my whole life dangled on what a little piece of plastic said.

"Well?" Angela asked when I came out of the bathroom. I left the tests and the boxes on the counter. Sarah looked up at me with the same honey- brown eyes.

"Positive. All three of them." I sighed heavily.

"Are you okay?" Sarah asked.

"I think so."

"Think?"

"Yeah. I mean what's so wrong with being 15, pregnant, and single?" I half-heartedly laughed, tears blurring my vision.

The sisters got up and hugged me as I cried into them.

"Oh god," I said.

"What?"

"I have to tell Charlie."

Angela laughed, pushing her glasses up her thin nose, "We'll help you."

"Of course," Sarah said, hugging me even tighter. Angela followed her lead, and I was suddenly a Bella sandwich, bulging at the seams.

I didn't want to talk about what the tests said, and the sisters didn't pry. I was thankful for that. We made a fort downstairs in their basement and watched Netflix. They thought movies would keep my mind off of things, but I couldn't focus on Jenna during her shopping montage in _13 Going on 30._ It just didn't seem to matter. When Sarah and Angela brought me ice cream, I played with it until it turned into soup. I didn't want to think about it either, but I didn't have a choice. My mind had other plans apparently. When they fell asleep, I stayed awake. I flipped through the options on Netflix and couldn't find anything that seemed to be interesting anymore. I clicked on something random and stared at that 'read 8:48' underneath my text to Edward until I eventually must've fallen asleep.

I woke up that morning alone in the basement. Sarah and Angela were upstairs eating cereal. They forced me to eat some too even though I didn't want to. I threw it up not five minutes later. I decided I wanted to tell Charlie right away before I talked myself out of it. When we got to my house, Charlie was still sleeping. That was unusual for him. He must've had a long night at the station. He tended to stay at work when I was out with friends. Poor guy. He really needed a girlfriend… or a dog. So, the three of us waited in the living room waiting for Charlie to wake up, playing board games on the floor.

"Oh, good morning, Bella. I wasn't excepting to see you home so soon." He laughed, smoothing his disheveled hair.

"Me either," I said. He tied his robe a bit tighter, and I could see his upper thigh. "Is this a bad time?"

"Of course not. It's never a bad time for my daughter. Why would you say such a thing?" He said, a bit too quickly.

"Dad?"

"Charlie," a woman's voice called out.

"Sue?" My jaw dropped seeing her come downstairs in a slip. Sue lived on the Res, she was friends with Billy- my dad's best friend. She used to babysit me when I was a child and when Charlie was busy with work, she'd come over and help me with my homework. She never completely filled the 'mom position' in my life, but she came close. I never thought of her and my dad ever…being a thing. She blushed.

"Excuse me!" I ran upstairs to throw up, fingers covering my lips.

"Well, that went well." I heard Charlie plop in his old man chair of his. It was one of those ones that really should've been thrown away decades ago. It had patches that were falling off in all different colors, and it was hard to see what color it really was in its original state, purchased during my parent's newlywed years. Their only years. I sighed and fell against the wall of the tub and wiped my mouth with toilet paper. I wish we could leave it at that. That I had thrown up because of my dad's all too public lovemaking session with a woman who used to change my diapers. That was reason enough to want to throw up all over the place, not to mention a little vampire monster child tickling your stomach.

"Oh, Charlie." I heard Sue say. Oh god. I rolled my eyes. After brushing my teeth, I came back downstairs, dragging my feet every shag carpeted step of the way and plopped on the couch.

"Are you okay?" Angela asked.

"Yeah, I'm good. Why don't you take off? I think I've got it covered."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." I nodded. After another hug from the sisters and I was left alone with my father and apparently, his girlfriend.

"I should be going too," Sue said.

"You don't have to." I quickly told her.

"I have to get to work. Sorry about this, Bella. I'll see you soon."

"I'm sure you will." I quietly said and stayed silent until well after she left.

"Did you not have fun last night, Bells?" Charlie finally asked.

"Not as much as you," I muttered.

"That's not really fair."

"Isn't it? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was waiting for the right time." He said.

"And this is the time you choose to be right?"

"You were supposed to be at Angela's, remember?"

"Yes, but I came home early," I said.

"Why?"

"To enjoy this wonderful conversation." I sighed.

"Hey, enough with the attitude," Charlie said. I said nothing. "So, are you going to tell me why you're home so early? If you girls had a fight, why would she come with you and Sarah?"

"It's irrelevant now, dad," I said and got up.

"It's something, Bella."

"It isn't, I'm fine. I just want to go upstairs and take a shower."

"Fine." He said. It was true. One of the best things about Charlie: he doesn't hover.


	2. prequel: part two

_AN: Welcome to the next chapter everyone! I don't have anything to say here, so I'll let you get right to the good stuff._

 _I'd like to remind everyone that this story is rated_ _ **M**_ _for_ _ **mature content, heavy themes, and adult language.**_

 _As always, a review gets you a teaser of the next chapter._

 _Reminder: these aren't Stephenie Meyer's vampires._

 **5 years before**

 **cullen home**

 **forks, washington**

 **jasper**

 **prequel: part two**

That day sucked. There. I said it. It wasn't like I was keeping it a secret or something and it definitely wasn't a secret that I hated that life and that family. Sure, I was grateful for Esme and Carlisle, I mean they were the closest things I had to parents and truth to be told, they were about the only thing I had anymore. My 'siblings' sucked, and their 'girlfriends' sucked. My 'girlfriend' sucked. But, Edward, Edward sucked the worse.

See, Carlisle had this sick fantasy that if we all lived together and pretended we were a family, we would be family. I didn't mind Rosalie that much, sure she was a bitch from time to time, but then again, who isn't? I loved Alice, that's my wife, and I suppose to an extent I'd always love her. It wasn't that she was a bad person it's just Alice and I are very different people. Emmett, that's Rosalie's husband, and I never had any bad blood between the two of us. I guess between the whole clan, we had the closest relationship to actual siblings.

At first, it was just Carlisle and me. He met Esme not too long after we met. It was one of those love at first sight things with those two. I can't really explain how we formed a clan, we just did. It was natural. By that time, Carlisle turned Edward in the early 1900s. I guess he was dying of Spanish Influenza. Edward and his mother had been patients of Carlisle's, and her dying wish was that her young son could be saved and given a second chance at life.

Carlisle had just started working in the hospital as a doctor. It's incredible how a defined monster can save lives and defend humanity better than humanity itself. One of the things I admire about Carlisle the most, he makes promises and keeps them. He didn't change Edward and let him figure out what he'd become on his own like my creator had... I guess that's when we started looking like a family: a mom, a dad, and their two sons. Once the rumor started, it was just easier to blend into a world of humans when you look normal. Normalcy came easy to us, well as easy as it could come to a 'family' of vampires, but I was content with where life had taken me.

I met Alice sometime later, and life seemed to be moving forward even if we weren't. When Carlisle turned Rosalie, it was because he thought she deserved another chance at life, just like Edward had. I still think it's because he felt bad that Alice and I had married, and Edward was still single. I guess he thought Edward needed a girlfriend. That didn't really work out though. Those two fought just like real brothers and sisters. When Emmett joined our family, Rosalie saved him from a bear attack while hiking. Just like Carlisle and Esme, the two fell in love at first sight. Emmett and I were never close, we'd watch football from time to time, but I was always the loner in our clan. Ever feel like the weird one in a group of weirds? That was me.

 _-rm-_

Leaving the clan wasn't something I had been thinking about doing. I guess something in me just snapped that day and I realized just how unhealthy it had been that I was continually living the same life over and over again. One can only graduate high school so many times until it gets old.

"Edward!" Alice whined. That's what she did best lately: whine and complain. Now, I know there was a time once where I loved her, when I worshiped her, and I just couldn't stand how adorable she was. Now, I went out of my way to avoid her. I was so sick of being an accessory to her life. That's how Alice lived, like her whole life was a fashion magazine, and I was a piece of arm candy like her newest Prada purse.

"This isn't fair! We've only been here for seven months!" Alice cried again. I couldn't take the whining anymore, and curiosity got the best of me. I got off my bed, tossing my guitar (that'd always had the name 'Old Oak') where I had been sitting.

"Alright, what's going on?" I opened my bedroom door to see what the hell all the ruckus was about.

"Edward wants to move! Again!" She said. As a vampire family, we couldn't stay in one place too long. We'd raise suspicions that we weren't aging, and suspicious humans lead to the Volturi knocking on our door. The Volturi are like the Royal Family. They are the closest thing our kind has to formal law. Their only rule: don't expose vampirism to mankind and if you do…let's just say it's off with your head. Literally. We usually stayed in one place for five to 10 years, depending on how preceptive people were. We'd just moved back to hour home in Forks about seven months ago.

"And?" I asked.

"And I don't want to go!" She folded her arms over her chest and pouted. It wasn't hard to forget that she was a measly eighteen years old when she was turned.

"So? Don't go?" I said.

"How am I not supposed to go?" She asked.

"Well, Alice, you're an adult, aren't you? You're over a hundred years old. You can make your own decisions."

"That's what I told her," Edward said. I rolled my eyes and left them to their arguing. I grabbed my guitar off my bed and went outside to the balcony.

"Oh, hey dad. I wasn't expecting to see you up here."

"Well, I'm sorry to be such a disappointment," he laughed.

"I didn't mean that. I was just kind of hoping to be alone," I said.

"The arguing drove you out here too?" He laughed.

"How'd you know?" I asked, taking a seat next to him in the fruit striped gum colored patio furniture, of course in the shade. Wouldn't want to burst into flames or anything. Not that I would. It's just incredibly uncomfortable. Humans were so silly with their nonsense fairy tales.

"Please," Carlisle said. "The whole house knows."

"So, I guess it's true? Edward wants to leave again? So soon?"

"Yes, that boy is always on the move."

"I know, dad, but why can't he just go to wherever it is he wants to move to on his own?" I asked. Edward usually was the one who was wanting to move. The rest of us liked to put down roots for a while.

"I like to keep my family together," Carlisle said.

"I understand that, but really, we're not actually teenagers. We are all just playing make-believe house like a normal family."

"We are a normal family, Jasper."

"We're really not, though. You know I've always been grateful for what you've done for me, and I love you and Esme, but I am sick of hiding and pretending. Why don't we just let Edward go off on his own for a while? How much damage could he do, I mean really?" I asked.

"We're not tearing our family apart," Carlisle said.

"And I am not asking for that, I'm just saying, why don't we let Edward run around like he wants without disrupting the rest of our lives. We've all been grateful living here together with you and Esme, and in many ways, you are our parents. We've agreed to live normal, human lives in exchange for our family, but at some point, this codling has to stop. It's not healthy."

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I can't abandon him. He needs us." He stood up from his fruit chair. "I'll give you some time to pack…or think about what you want to do." Carlisle left swiftly back inside the house.

 _-rm-_

It was at that moment that for the first time in my life, I hated that I was alone. With Carlisle gone, I was forced to do what he wanted, to think. One of the benefits of living like a family is you get to soak up the benefits of being a child like having someone make decisions for you. I was absolutely certain that I didn't want to leave Forks so soon, especially on Edward's demand, but I was also absolutely certain that I didn't want to leave Carlisle and Esme.

Sighing, I picked up old Oak again and went back into my room and toss it back on the bed. I join the guitar on the stiff mattress and stare at the ceiling. I close my eyes and let my mind race. I didn't want to move either. I liked Forks. I liked the rain, it was soothing, and it always inspired me to write songs. I also knew I didn't want to stay in this big house alone. That would be weird, living in a place that used to house so many people. The silence would be too haunting.

I don't know how long I was consumed by my thoughts when I was pulled out of them by Bree- Anne.

"Jasper?" She knocked softly. Bree was the youngest in our family. Her own parents abandoned her when she was just a toddler. Carlisle found her in the dumpster at the hospital he was working. She was looking for something to eat. He took her into the hospital and patched her up. She had some scrapes and bruises. He took her to the police department to see if someone had been looking for her. They hadn't. They eventually found her parents that afternoon, but they were so consumed by drugs they wanted nothing to do with her. She was going to have to go to foster care, and while things settled with the adoption, that's where she stayed. She'd been living with us ever since. Despite what people think, vampires are very capable of living with humans. Even young ones with sweet, sweet blood flowing through their veins. We may be monsters, but when we're matured, we have self-control. The Volturi bent the rules a little for Carlisle since he'd always been such a good guy. It didn't hurt that Carlisle used to be apart of the Volturi before he started studying medicine.

"Why are Edward and Alice fighting again, Jasper?" Bree asked.

"Because Edward wants to move," I said.

"But, we just got here. I like it here." She whined.

"I know, squirt, I do too." I reached for her. Sure, she was now 12 years old, I never grew out of that old habit of treating her like that little girl she was when we first met. She hugged me back.

"So, you don't want to go either?"

"No. Of course not." I told her. "But, it's like dad just said, we are a family, and we have to do what keeps our family happy. Each and every one of us."

"But, if we move and it makes Edward happy, that's just one of us that ends up happy, right? If we go, you're unhappy, and I am unhappy, and so is Alice. That's not fair," she said. Sometimes I forgot she wasn't just a baby.

"I know. It's not fair," I simply agree. It's all I can do. "Hey, why don't you go talk to mom or dad about it. I have some stuff I need to do." Something about the conversation made me realize just how much I'd been depending on Carlisle and just how much I'd been letting Edward run me around.

"I can't stay here with you?"

"I'll be quick. Promise." I smiled. She nodded and left.

When the door closed, I sat on the edge of my bed with my head between my hands. I took a few breaths before I could convince myself otherwise. I had to get out of there- and away from that family while I still could.

Finally, I went inside my closet, grabbed a duffel bag and started stuffing various colors of plaid shirts and dark jeans and underwear into the bag. I grabbed a pair of boots and shoved them in too. That ought to do it. I sighed as I looked at my room for the last time.

Before I go to the garage to pack up my beautiful black truck, I stopped in Alice's bedroom. That was always so nice, we all had our own space. I had a room, Alice had hers. Edward had one, Emmett had one too. So did Rosalie and Bree- Anne. Even Carlisle had his own space in the form of a full office (stuffed with medical books and supernatural lore) and Esme, her area was definitely her 'craft room', as she called it and sure we all took turns spending the night in each other's spaces, but it was nice to have a place we could call our own. Though we lived as a family and we were a clan, vampires aren't the most sociable of beings.

In Alice's room, I sat at her desk. It was one of those beautiful old-fashioned ones with a roll top and gold trim around the wared silver- white paint. I took my wedding band off and set it on the surface. In the human world, we were all just dating, but in reality, we were all married to our partners. Me with Alice, Rosalie with Emmett and Edward was with whichever human he liked for a week until he got bored with them and drained them of their blood. That's generally when we had to move again. Bree had her flings with boys from school. I didn't approve of them, but, I suppose it's all in being a teenage human.

Along with my wedding band, I left Alice a note explaining all the technicalities of why I was moving and why I wanted a divorce and when to expect the papers. We both knew this was a long time coming. Sure, we tried to save our marriage and our life together, but we both knew it wasn't working anymore. Plus, she seemed to like Edward more and more lately, even if they fought. Something told me that if Edward wanted to go, Alice would follow regardless of what she really wanted. They'd be happy together, I'm was sure. More importantly, I'd be happy with them both away from me. Petty, I know, but hey a man can only live so long being a dress-up doll for his bride. Not only that, it's time for me to go on, start my own life though I couldn't stand the thought of never seeing Esme and Carlisle again.

With the end of my note, I picked up my bag and old Oak.

"What are you doing?" Alice asked. I jumped.

"What are you doing?" Was the best I could come up with being caught so off guard by her sudden presence. We definitely all had our gifts, where I was a man of emotion control, Alice was the one with the visions and the lightest foot.

"I asked you first." She said. "Now, what are you doing?"

"It's all in the note. Goodbye, Alice." I walked away only to be grabbed by her cool touch and pulled back.

"What note? What do you mean 'goodbye'?" She asked.

"I mean, I am not going with Esme and Carlisle to wherever Edward wants to go," I said.

"You're not? And you didn't think you should talk to me about this?" She folded her arms.

"No, because we aren't a 'we' anymore. You are you, and I am me."

"That isn't true," she said.

"Isn't it?" I asked.

"No."

"Humor me," I said.

"You're my husband, and I am your wife. We've been together for forever. I love you so much." She said.

"Do you?" I asked. "Or do you love the idea of a husband, and a dress-up doll and make-believe family in a little doll house?"

"I love you."

"I don't believe it," I said.

"Why?" She asked.

"Look at you, Al, you're far more interested in Edward these days. All we do is fight. It's been this way for a long time, and you know it. It's over." I knew the truth would hurt her now, but in a few days, she'd be over it.

"I don't know it, Jasper."

"You do. In your heart, you know this is the right thing to do. For both of us." She said nothing and looked as if she was crying, she probably was, but her tear ducts being frozen in time prevented tears from actually forming and rolling down her cheeks. It was better that way. It was easier to ignore the fact that I had hurt her when there was no physical reminder of what I had done. The shock of what I was doing was what probably what took her by the most surprise. While Alice can see the future, the future changes as soon as someone changes their mind, and I definitely hadn't been planning this. It was better that way, she wouldn't have time to change my mind.

"I am sorry, Al." I kissed her forehead and went to the garage.


	3. prequel: part three

_AN: I'd like to remind everyone that this story is rated_ _ **M**_ _for_ _ **mature content, heavy themes, and adult language.**_

 _As always, a review gets you a sneak peak of the next chapter._

 _Reminder: these aren't Stephenie Meyer's vampires_

 _enjoy_

 **five years before**

 **bella's house**

 **forks, washington**

 **bella**

 **prequel: part three**

Angela called me later that night and asked me how Charlie took the news. I didn't reply. I didn't need a lecture from her too on how I didn't tell Charlie about the thing that needed to be said. Instead, I crawled out my window, up on the roof where I liked to sit and watch the sky. It was the only place I had that was entirely mine, even more so now.

"Bella? What are you doing up there? Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"What are you doing here, Edward?" I sighed.

"I came to talk."

"Oh, so now you care? Not the past weeks? But, now?"

"Can we just talk?" He asked, jumping up to me on the roof.

"Fine," I sighed. "What do you want?"

"We're leaving," Edward said.

"What?" I blinked.

"We're leaving. Me, Alice, Emmett. The whole family."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jasper had a slip-up. We have to get to hiding." He said, not looking at me.

"Don't lie to me." I glared at him.

"That is the truth."

"Oh really? So, it has nothing to do with my text from last night? You know the one where I told you I was buying a pregnancy test?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me," I said again.

"It has nothing to do with that."

"Oh, please." I sighed.

"It has to do with Jasper."

"Why are you telling me this? It's not like you cared for the past six weeks about me." I said.

"I thought you'd want to know that I wouldn't be around anymore." He said.

"It's not like you've been around," I sighed.

"Bella," he sighed back. "You honestly think I want to leave? That I want to leave you?"

"Well, what am I supposed to think, Edward?"

"You're supposed to believe me. I love you."

"Fat chance," I laughed.

"Well, it's not my fault that you don't believe me."

"No, actually, Edward, it is. We have sex, and you disappear. I tell you I think I am pregnant, and you don't even try to comfort me when you come here and tell me you're leaving without even asking if I am pregnant or not. You are not the Edward I fell in love with. You're a stranger. I don't even know you anymore."

"Well, first off, I don't think it's my job to comfort you when you're knocked up with someone else's kid." He said.

"Excuse me?" I couldn't believe what I'd just heard.

"You heard me. You're honestly trying to pin a child on me, Bella. How mature."

"I'm the immature one? You _knocked_ me up and now are trying to run away from your responsibility in this, Edward!"

"I am a vampire. I cannot conceive children. It's kind of one of the perks."

"You're really a jerk, you know that, right?"

"Sure, take it out on me. Why don't you take it out on the kid who got you pregnant?"

"I already am. It's you, Edward. I hate it too."

"Whatever, Bella."

"I'll figure something out, but one thing is for certain, I can't raise a baby. I am fifteen. More importantly, your family has a say in this, too."

"Don't bother them. They already have enough on their plates."

"Well, Edward here's where I am at: either I have the kid and give it to Rosalie, who will love it and cherish it as her own or, I abort it. It's your choice."

"Then, get rid of it." He said. "Goodbye, Bella."

 _-rm-_

That night, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about what Edward said. _Then get rid of it._ It. Our baby was nothing more than an it. He really wasn't the guy who the day before told me he loved being with me. He wasn't the guy who just the day before who said he loved how I wasn't like every other girl.

He was now the guy who built me up and had me walking on the clouds and tore me down faster than I could blink. He was now the guy who I never wanted to see again, but he was the only one I needed more than ever. Just the thought left a bitter taste in my mouth. Who was I? I wasn't a girl who _needed_ a man to complete her. I didn't even want one, but once my walls went down, I fell. Hard. And I hated it.

I shook my head and called Angela. It was two in the morning, and I didn't blame her for not answering. So, I called again and again until she woke up.

"Bella, you better be dying." She said.

"Pretty close." I laughed, half-heartedly.

"What?"

"Can you take me to the hospital?"

"Oh my god, what's wrong?" I heard her sheets rustle.

"In addition to everything else?" I rolled my eyes.

"Bella…"

"Can you just get Sarah and take me. Please?" I begged.

She sighed. "Alright. Sarah is going to kill you; you know that, right?"

"What's there to lose?" I laughed. I heard her sigh again before hanging up.

"Bella, who are you talking to at this hour?" Charlie opened the door to my bedroom. Sometimes I really hated the fact our house was so small. It was like I might as well share a bedroom with my father.

"What?" I asked. I didn't have a good lie to cover anything up especially with my phone still in my hand.

"Why are you talking on the phone at two in the morning?"

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because, Bella, it's two in the morning also a school night."

"Dad relax," I said.

"Don't tell me to relax, missy. I don't know what's gotten into you. I don't appreciate your attitude lately," he leaned against the door frame.

"Well, I don't appreciate being treated like a child."

"You are a child!" He said.

"No. I am not!"

"That's it. You win, Isabella. You're grounded."

"What?" I asked.

"You heard me."

"No! Dad, this isn't fair!" I said.

"This isn't fair. Now, phone." He stuck his hand out at me.

"No."

"Isabella. Give me your phone. Now." He glared.

"Fine!" I threw it at him, shattering the screen when it bounced out of his grasp and fell to the floor.

"After school, you will come home. Understand?" He was acting all tough, but I could tell in his eyes he hated doing this. He hated disciplining me which is why he rarely did. He must've really been pissed off that I woke him up.

"Whatever." I rolled over in my bed. I heard him leave the room, but not closing the door. With Charlie gone with my phone, I had a whole lot of new problems, how was I supposed to know when Angela and Sarah got here? I decided the only thing I could do was wait until he fell asleep and sit on the roof and watch for their car and that's exactly what I did.

"Thanks for getting me," I told the sisters, once buckled into the backseat of the car.

"What's going on?" Sarah asked.

"I talked to Edward," I said.

"Oh my god, you did?" Angela looked back at me.

"Yes."

"And?" Sarah asked.

"And, well, they're moving. The whole family. I guess Carlisle got a better job in New York or something. I don't really know the details." I lied about the first part. The second part, though, was true. I really didn't know what the details were and to be honest, I didn't really care either. All I knew was I was going to have a baby, a baby that I didn't want and its father definitely didn't want either, and unless I took care of it tonight, I would have to live with that stupid night my whole life. I wasn't about to do that.

"Did you tell him?" Sarah asked.

"About him knocking me up?" I asked.

"I wouldn't have said it like that…" Angela said.

"I would," I said. "And yes, I did tell him."

"What did he say?" Angela asked.

"He told me to get rid of it," I said. Again, it left a bitter taste in my mouth and now that I had the chance to say it out loud, I realized how much it hurt me.

"Get rid of it. You don't mean…" Angela said.

"I don't mean adoption," I said.

"And that's why we're here, Ang," Sarah said.

"You can't be serious, Bella," Angela said.

"What else am I supposed to do?" I asked. "I am open to suggestions."

"Anything but that."

"I can't have a baby. I don't know anything about babies. The kid wouldn't even have a father."

"We can help," Angela said.

"Ang," Sarah gently touched her arm.

"No, you can't do this Bella."

"I can, and I will. There is no other choice, and I really wish you'd just support me on this. We are babies ourselves and as much as I love you, do you really know how to take care of a baby?"

"I've babysat before."

"That's not at all the same thing. This is a baby that is constantly going to be around, crying and getting sick and not to mention money to take care of it." I said. I was actually amazed at how rational I was being. I didn't know, at the time, if it was really rationality or fear that was making sense. All I knew was that I was fifteen, I was pregnant, I had no job, no money, no boyfriend, and a dad that was going to kill me when he found out I snuck out of the house and never told him I was pregnant.

"Bella, have you talked to your dad about this at all?" Sarah asked.

"No," I sighed. "He doesn't know."

"I think it would be best you tell him and talk to him about this."

"Sarah, no. Please."

"I can't take you to the hospital for this, Bella. I'm sorry." She said.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because this is something you need to discuss with your father." She said.

"When did you become such an adult?" I asked, realizing that my strength had failed me, and I had started to cry.

"I'm sorry, Bella. When you talk to your dad, and you come to a conclusion, I will be there for you and so will Angela, right?" Angela looked at Sarah then at me.

"Right." Angela nodded, slowly.

"I'm scared," I said.

"You should be," Sarah said.

"Thanks for nothing." I cried.

"I didn't mean it like that, I meant it more as I would be worried if you weren't scared." She said. I didn't say anything and left the car. I crawled back into my window and waved at the sisters from there before sliding the window back down and locking it. I closed the curtains and plopped on the edge of my bed. I suddenly was aware just how alone I really was.

 _-rm-_

In the morning, I sat at the kitchen table and waited for Charlie to wake up. I didn't have breakfast made, which was generally a ritual for me: get up, take a shower, get dressed, and make breakfast for the two of us. Charlie wasn't the best of cooks, and I could live with that. I didn't mind cooking, it gave me something to do where I didn't have to think about homework or Jessica, the most popular girl in school and her following of bitches.

"Dad?" I turned around hearing Charlie coming down the stairs.

"Morning," he said, not making too much eye contact with me.

"Can we talk?"

"You can apologize for your behavior last night, Isabella, but you are still grounded." Isabella. Great. At least he was still thoroughly pissed off with me. That didn't matter. I had to tell him before I could get rid of this nightmare. Then maybe things would go back to normal. One could only hope, anyway. I sighed.

"It's not really about last night, dad. I mean it is, but it isn't." I chewed on my lower lip.

"Then what is it about?" He grabbed a box of sugary cereal down from the top of the refrigerator and some whole milk from the inside of the fridge. I was never going to get that man to eat healthily. I sighed again.

"It's about… it's about Edward."

"Edward?"

"Yeah, um, yes."

"What's wrong?" He let his anger wall down. Was it really that obvious how scared and nervous I was about this?

"I don't really know how to tell you."

"Bella, you're scaring me." He said. "Did he hurt you, because I swear to god, I'll kill him."

"Dad, no. It's not about that." I said, and he folded his arms, apparently not convinced. Poor guy, he had no idea what I was about to say. It would either kill him or me or Edward. I just couldn't decide which of us would be dead by the end of the conversation yet.

"It's about this stupid thing we did." I finally said.

"What did you do?" He asked. I wished I could tell him I shoplifted or defaced public property or something. Anything but this.

"I'm pregnant." I blurted. It was the only way. I started to cry.

"I'm sorry, I heard 'I'm pregnant' now that can't possibly be right." He said.

"It is, dad. I'm so sorry." I cried.

"How did this happen?" Charlie turned red, though surprisingly enough, he hadn't started yelling. This was it. I was going to kill my father.

"Edward said…"

"I don't care what Edward said. We had the talk. Why weren't you using protection?"

"He said he couldn't have kids. He said he was in a car accident." I cried. "And it affected his fertility." I lied. I hated how much I had to lie about this, about _him_.

"And you believed him."

"I'm so sorry, daddy." I cried. "I didn't want to, he said he loved me."

"I'll kill him."

"No, dad. I'm just as much to blame."

"No, you're not. You told him you didn't want to and he still pressured you? It still happened. I could have him thrown in jail."

"Dad! No! I said yes, I said I wanted to." I cried harder.

"Doesn't matter. Get your coat." He stood up.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To your boyfriend's house. We're taking care of this."

"Dad..."

"Isabella, get your coat," Charlie said after I didn't get up from our little kitchenette table for a noticeably long time. "I said we're going to talk to your boyfriend about this."

"Dad you can't."

"Oh, yes, I can. Now get your coat. It'll be worse if I have to go by myself."

"They moved, Dad! There's no one there! You can't talk to anyone." I half lied. I didn't know if they were gone yet or not, but I knew Edward wasn't lying when he said the family was leaving. I didn't know why I should have believed him, but I did. I guess a part of me held on to the Edward I fell in love with, and a part of me hoped that Edward was still in there somewhere. I knew there was even if he couldn't admit it.

"What do you mean 'they moved'?"

"I mean exactly that. They packed up their bags and left. There's nothing you can say anymore. I'm on my own."

"When did this happen?" He asked still putting his boots on like he didn't believe me.

"I don't know. A couple of days ago? Edward and I aren't exactly on the best of terms in case you haven't noticed." I sighed.

"I'm going to the hospital to find out where they moved." He said.

"Italy or something, Dad. Please, stop. They're gone. There's nothing that can be done about it now."

"Yes, there is." He stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.

When Charlie left, I stayed in my pajamas and went to Angela's. I took my time driving to her house. Since I was fifteen, I was only supposed to have a learner permit, but Charlie was able to help me get a license early. A lot of kids were able to get them since Forks was so small and a lot of people needed their kids to drive for their family's businesses. Basically, if you could prove you needed a license early, you could get one.

It was a school day, but I didn't care if I was truant or not. I told Charlie in a note on the counter that I needed to take care of it. I decided to leave Angie's and not tell her, or Sarah I was there and went to the hospital. Then I remembered that's where Charlie was going. My brain was so scrambled and scattered I couldn't even remember what was going on. I stayed in my truck and cried. Everything sort of hit me when I parked, and I realized I couldn't get an abortion even though I knew it was the best thing for the baby and me. I was fifteen. I didn't have a job. I didn't have a boyfriend. My father was a single parent and raising me on a police's wages in a tiny town, which wasn't much. He could barely afford to buy me school supplies every year. We weren't that desperate for money though. It's not like I ever had to sit in the dark because he couldn't pay the light bill that month. We were comfortable, but it was only the two of us. A baby would be too much, and it wouldn't be fair to it. I knew I had to do it. So, I got out of my truck and hugged myself as I walked to the front door of the hospital. I did my best to shield myself from the rain. I wasn't very successful and walked in soaked. Just as luck would have it, I walked right into Charlie as he was leaving.

"Bella, what are you doing here?"

"I have to do something," I said.

"Is that trying to catch a cold?" He pushed my wet hair out of my face and put his coat on me.

"No, I am taking care of the situation, so we can get back to normalcy, Dad."

"You want an abortion?"

"No," I said.

"So, why are you here?"

"I have to do this, Dad. I can't do this on my own. I don't even have a job."

"You could get one." He said.

"No, I can't. I'm in high school. When would I have the time?"

"A lot of kids your age have jobs."

"Okay, fine and when the day comes? How am I supposed to balance school and work and…?" I asked, keeping the baby word to myself. I didn't want the world to know. Word travels fast in a small town, and the last thing I wanted was to earn the label slut for my last three years of high school.

"If this is something you want to do, I can help. I raised you, didn't I?" He folded his arms.

"This isn't your responsibility, Dad."

"You are my responsibility." He said.

"It doesn't matter. You shouldn't have to pay for my mistakes, Dad. This is the only responsible thing that can be done."

"The responsible thing would have been to use protection, Isabella."

"That bridge has been crossed." I sighed. It wasn't like I could go back in time and change the past.

"Let's talk about this at home." He said.

"No, Dad. My decision has been made. I'm not changing your mind."

"Oh, really? Do you remember when you were little, and you wanted a cat?" He asked. "I couldn't get a moment's peace because you were always begging me. 'I want a kitty, Daddy. Please, can we get a kitty?' You always were begging me. I finally caved, and I took you to the pet store in Seattle and what cat did you pick?"

"I didn't." I sighed.

"That's right. You picked a dog. Remember?" He asked.

"I remember." I said.

"So, don't tell me you've made up your mind, and you're not going to change it."

"Dad, that was seven years ago and a dog. This is a… a lot more responsibility than that." I said.

"I know, Bells, but your track record of keeping your mind made up isn't very good. Will you please sleep on this? Then tomorrow if your mind is still made up, I will sign the papers." He said.

"You want me to keep it?" I asked.

"I don't want you to live your life regretting what you've done." He said. I didn't know it then, but I was glad Charlie made me go home that day and sleep on my decision because he was right, I changed my mind, and I kept her.


	4. prequel: part four

_AN: In this chapter Jasper sings a song called "What About Now?" by Lonestar. I, in no way, claim rights or credit for the song. All credit belongs to their rightful owners ( us/album/what-about-now/298396488?i=298396546) …there, now that that little disclaimer is out of the way, let's get back to the good stuff!_

 _I'd like to remind everyone that this story is rated_ _ **M**_ _for_ _ **mature content, heavy themes, and adult language.**_

 _As always, a review gets you a sneak peak of the next chapter._

 _Reminder: these aren't Stephenie Meyer's vampires_

 _enjoy_

 **five years before**

 **cullen house - whitlock ranch**

 **forks, washington**

 **jasper**

 **prequel: part four**

I took my time packing my things into my truck. I didn't know how I was going to break it to Carlisle that I wasn't going to Italy with him and the family. I knew it would break his heart, but sometimes you have to do what's best for you and not for everyone else. It's not selfish. It's a fact.

You can only live so long pleasing everyone else and taking care of everybody before it gets to you. You can only live so long like that until your body literally gives up on you. Vampire or not, you get tired of being the rock, the strong one, and you need to be the weak one. The problem with being the strong one is that when you finally need to be weak, no one is there to put you back together again.

With all the fluids checked inside my truck and the tires filled with just the perfect amount of air, I know I can't put this off any longer. I go back upstairs. At Carlisle's office door, I knock. Slowly.

"Yes?" Carlisle's honey smooth voice calls out from behind the door.

"Hey. It's me, can I talk to you?" I poke my head in. He nods, and I sit down in one of the two leather chairs that sit on the other side of his desk, across from Carlisle.

"What can I do for you, son?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I thought about our conversation," I said.

"Excellent, and what is your decision?"

"I'm not coming with the family, Carlisle. I can't."

"You can't?"

"No. I'm so sorry." I stood up.

"What does that mean? You can't?" He asked again. I plopped back into the chair, slouching.

"It means that I can't go on pretending to be something that I am not. I am a vampire, Carlisle. We all are, and I don't want to go on pretending to be some fragile human that has to follow the rules. You know, wake up in the morning, go to school, graduate, get married and have a family. What am I supposed to do when that fantasy life is over? Live it again? Well, I can't anymore. Living like a human is only making me want to die like a human."

"I didn't know you felt that way, Jasper."

"How could you have not known?" I asked.

"How could I have? We don't talk anymore, son."

"That's because you are much too busy taking care of your family, and I am not in that family."

"Don't be absurd, Jasper. Of course, you are."

"Am I?" I asked.

"Of course. You're being ridiculous." He said.

"You really believe that, don't you?" I asked though it was more of a statement. I knew the answer to that question.

"Yes, Jasper. I believe that you are a member of this family. You are my son, and you are all family, regardless of what we are."

"And that's why I can't go with you, Carlisle."

"Because you don't feel like a member of this family?"

"No, it's so much more than that, Carlisle. It's the fact that you'll drag your 'family' halfway across the world on a whim because Edward is upset because he has girl problems. It's not just him. I need a change for a little bit. I think I need to be alone for a little while." I said.

"That's not true," Carlisle said about Edward.

"But it is! Can't you see that? You won't take anyone else's thoughts or concerns into consideration. I mean, does Esme even want to go?"

"She's always wanted to see Italy." He said.

"Okay, that's fine. What about everyone else? You're not taking into consideration that this move will make one person happy, but everyone else is not. It's not fair." I quote Bree- Anne from earlier.

"Who else has a problem with this move, son?"

"That's my point, Carlisle. You don't even know."

"So, tell me."

"Well, Bree, for one," I said.

"Oh, please. She's a child, Jasper."

"And that may be true, but she has a say, she has a vote. She may be a child, but she is also friends with life here, Carlisle."

"That's a little dramatic, don't you think?" He asked.

"No, it's not. Not to me, and more importantly, not to her."

"We've only been here a short time, Jasper."

"I know, but what time is to us is nothing compared to how fragile time is to a human. Every second counts. You know that as well as I do." I said.

"I do, Jasper. I know how fragile human life is."

"Then why don't you see why it would upset her to leave? Think about it, Carlisle. Bree has had to move a minimum of once every five years her whole life."

"So, three times? That's not so bad."

"Did you not just hear me? I said, 'at a minimum.'"

"Yes, I did. What's your point, son?"

"My point is, she deserves some stability in her life," I said.

"She doesn't have that already?"

"No, and you could see that too if you would just put Edward out of your mind for five minutes and think of who else this move is affecting."

"I know what's best for Bree- Anne, Jasper," Carlisle said.

"Do you? Because up and running to Italy at the drop of a hat because Edward, one person, is unhappy doesn't seem like you know what's best."

"I am sorry you are so unhappy, son."

"Yeah, me too, but I can take care of that. It's Bree I am worried about."

"I will talk to her." He said.

"Make it right with her. I think she'd like Italy too, Carlisle. It needs to be on her terms, though."

He smiled, "and when did you get to be such an expert on teenage girls?"

"Well, I am only 18 in human years. I may not remember much from those days, but I feel how teenagers feel towards their parents all the time. I think I have a pretty good idea of their feelings." I laughed.

Carlisle nodded. "So, what are you planning on doing?"

"I don't know. All I know is that I can't stay here. Not after everything. It would be too weird to stay and live here by myself in this huge house without a family."

"So where are you going to go?"

"I have no idea, right now. I may stop by and see Peter and Charlotte." I said and smiled at the idea. That wasn't a half bad idea. Peter was my brother… not by birth, but by creation. I haven't seen them for about 30 years, and it was long overdue. Charlotte and Alice never really got along that well. Char was a country girl, jeans and a T-shirt kind of girl, a play in the mud kind of girl, and well, Alice, Alice couldn't be any more different than that.

"Will, you at least write when you settle in?"

I blinked in surprise. "Really? I mean, you really want me to?"

"You'll always be my son, no matter where life takes us." He said.

"Thanks, Carlisle. I mean it. Thank you." I smile, standing up from my stiff leather chair. I turned to leave, not looking back. I knew if I did look back, I'd change my mind and unpack my truck, my bags. I knew I couldn't though. I knew it was time. Carlisle knew it was time I had to go. Every child, vampire or not, has to spread their wings and leave the house at some point. It's just the natural order of things. I couldn't help that, and neither could Carlisle, no matter how badly he probably wanted to.

In the end, I could see how Carlisle knew that: just because I was leaving didn't mean I didn't love him. It meant that I _did_ love him. He did a good job 'raising' me. He did his job right, and I could prove it out there. He made a good man out of me and even more important, he made me a good monster, if that made any sense at all. At least I wasn't killing people anymore, and I could control my thirst.

I guess that's what made it so hard to leave Carlisle and even Esme for that matter. It was hard to go. They were responsible for making me a better man.

"Jasper."

"Yes, Carlisle?" I had my hand on the door, refusing to look back.

"Don't forget to say goodbye to Esme."

Oh god. If I thought telling Carlisle was hard, telling Esme would downright kill me. Breaking Alice's heart was one thing. Letting Carlisle down was another. Esme was a whole different ball game. Baseball, of course. Never mind.

I held my breath before entering the kitchen. I decided the best way was to just get it over with.

"Esme…mom?" I asked.

"Yes, dear?"

"Hey, can we talk?" I asked. Bree- Anne was there too. I didn't know how I felt about that. I guess on one side; I'd get it done all at once. I'd break the hearts of the two girls I loved the most at once. On the other side, I'd break both their hearts at once. Maybe I just should go to Italy. It'd be easier that way.

"Sure, what's going on?"

"I just wanted to let you know, I won't be joining you to Italy."

"What?" Esme blinked. I could feel Bree- Anne's heartache already. I sat down on the stool next to her.

"I'm sorry, guys. I just have no interest in Italy. I want to stay here. I think it's time."

"If that is what makes you happy, Jasper, I can't stop you," Esme said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Please come with us, Jazz," Bree begged. "Please."

"I'm sorry, squirt."

"Then I'm coming with you."

"Bree." Esme softly touched her arm.

"No! I want to be with Jasper."

"Squirt, you have to stay with mom and dad. They love you too much."

"I love you, too." She said.

"And I love you, but you can visit me, okay? And I'll find a way to come visit you too." I said. Esme looked at me, as broken as she was, at least I wasn't taking her daughter away from her too.

"Promise?" Bree asked. She was almost crying.

"Only if you don't cry." I smiled and hugged her.

"I'll try not to."

"I know you can be strong," I said. She nodded into my shirt. I held her for a while then hugged Esme. I was surprised at how well she took everything. She must've known that I'd always love her too and I'd still be with her. I kissed her cheek and went on my way to say goodbye to Rosalie and Emmett. Saying goodbye to them wasn't too hard. Well, it was, but nothing like Esme and Bree- Anne. With all my dues taken care of, I was able to finally leave Forks, Washington and never look back.

 _-rm-_

I decided to take my time getting to Texas. What was the hurry anyway? My first stop was Seattle. A lawyer named J. Jenks lived there. He was the man Carlisle and I had been doing 'business' with for years. While he was a legit lawyer, he knew about vampires. I never asked how, but he kind of always been the one our kind goes to when we needed a new identity.

Before I went to his office, I needed to hunt first and get a new phone. I needed to get a new number to keep Alice from begging me to come home. An hour or so after pretending like I cared about the different models of phones, I chose one and went to a hotel. In the hotel room, I took a long hot shower. I waited until the steam from the shower fogged up the mirror in the bathroom. That gave me time to stare at myself until I didn't want to any more until I had myself totally disgusted with myself. I had done it. I let Edward break me. I ran away from the only family I knew. The pain in Carlisle, Esme, and Bree's hearts hit me. Hard.

I stepped into the shower as if the audible sting from the hot water on my cool marble like skin would soothe the pain in my own heart. I looked down to my feet, trying to ease my guilt as the pink water puddled at my toes. I didn't realize just how much blood I had in my hair and under my nails from hunting. I stayed in the water until it ran cold and even then, I stood there. I couldn't help feeling sorry for myself, and I fought the urge to go to Italy…

The next morning, I left the hotel plenty early so I'd have time to get to Jenks' office with coffee. See, most vampire myths are totally and completely false. Our body still works like a human, just drastically slower. For example, the whole story if a human swallow their gum it will stay in their stomach for seven years, although also false makes my point that if a vampire did the same thing it could take years. I'm talking twenty plus. So, we generally take things easy when it comes to food and drink since our body doesn't seem to digest it as well. Not only that, our pallets are much more refined. I've heard that some of us can actually taste the individual molecules of food which leaves a nasty bitter cardboard taste in our mouths. Generally speaking, that only happens to newborn vampires or those who haven't gotten their thirst for human blood, or blood in general, under control. That being said, some of us actually enjoy eating and drinking with our friends. Our bodies just have to work twice as hard to process it.

"Good morning," I greet the secretary in Jenks practice. It's a fancy, modern glass building with shining silver posts to hold all the windows together. It really was beautiful.

"Welcome to Jenks and Smith, how can I help you?" She asked, her blue eyes beaming in what little sunlight Seattle was providing that morning. Poor human, she has no idea that her boss does so much business with vampires. That one paper cut could end her life. I almost felt sorry for her.

"Hi, I have an appointment with J. I'm a little early." I lied, but I knew Jenks would know my name and get me right back to see him. "Would you mind telling him I'm here? Jasper Cullen, ma'am."

She blushed at my southern drawl, "of course. Just have a seat, and he'll be right out." I nodded to her, and she went back in the skinny hallway, smoothing her black, snug skirt and re-tucking in the back of her purple silk blouse. She was really beautiful, for a human anyway. So full of life and pink cheeks.

"Mr. Cullen? J. says you can go on back. Would you like me to show you the way?"

"Sure," I smiled even though I knew exactly where his office was.

"Good morning, Jasper, long time no see." J. smiled at me.

"No doubt." I laughed and sat down.

"What can I do you for?" He asked.

"I was wondering if you could make me a new life."

"A new life?"

"Yes, I decided I was sick of being a kid." I laughed.

"Understandable, so the works? Driver's license, birth certificate?" He asked.

"Yes, oh and can you handle a divorce?"

"A divorce?" Jenks repeated in awe.

"Yeah. New life, no wife." I teased a bit.

"Wow. Really, you and Alice?" Jenks asked.

"We just had some problems we couldn't fix." I said.

"Are you okay? You two seemed so in love the last time I saw you both."

"We were, and I suppose to an extent, we still are. It's just not fair to keep her back when she deserves someone better than me."

"I can understand. Married three times, you know." He laughed.

"Don't remind me." I rolled my eyes at the countless hours of wedding ceremonies I have sat through for this man.

Jenks laughed as well, "do you have a new address where I can send all your new papers to?"

"Yeah, just send it all to my ranch. Whitlock ranch in Dallas." I nod.

"Sounds good. Now, for the divorce how did you and Alice want the separation of property? Fifty-fifty?"

"She can have it all. I really don't care about the stuff. Plus, were both sick of fighting and there's nothing in that house worth fighting for anyway." I said.

"Well, that's easy enough." He laughed. "Do you have her new address?"

"I don't. I can call you just as soon as I know with the information."

"That would be great, Jasper." He nodded, writing everything down on his notepad.

"Is that everything you need from me?"

"I think so, if not do you still have the same number I can call you on?" He asked.

"Actually, no I don't," I said and gave him the new number.

"I'll call you if there are any details I need your help with. I just need a quick photo for a new driver's license, and you can be on your way."

"Sounds great. Thanks a lot, J., I appreciate it."

"What are friends for?" He teased and snapped my photo, and I was on my way for the rest of the journey to Dallas.

 _-rm-_

I decided to stop in Wyoming and hiked through the Big Horn Mountains. God, it really was a beautiful state when you could get out of the dry, flatlands. I could see how humans could get lost entirely up here and how a weekend of camping would never be enough. The trees moved so perfectly with the wind as if they were dance partners for life and loved every minute of it. The stars spoke louder than words at night, and I never wanted to leave those gray dirt roads.

I called Peter when I finally decided to leave the mountains. He was surprised to hear my voice on the other end of the line.

"Jasper, what the hell are you doing?" He laughed.

"I finally did it, man. I finally left Alice and the rest of the clan." I said.

"No shit?"

"No shit." I laughed. "I couldn't do it anymore."

"Took you long enough."

"Right? Well, I hope you two haven't turned my bedroom into some sex cave because I am coming home." I turned onto the interstate going south towards Dallas.

"Oh god," he laughed.

"So that's a yes? You did turn my room into a sex cave?"

"No. Jasper. We did not turn your room into a sex cave." He laughed again.

"That's Jasper?" I heard Charlotte ask in the background.

"Yeah," Peter said.

"I'm coming home, Char!" I yelled into the phone so she could hear me.

"Dude!" Peter whined.

"Sorry," I laughed, setting the cruise. It looked like it would be a nice, easy trip to Dallas.

"At least warn me when you're going to scream in my ear." He laughed, putting me on speaker.

"Oh, stop whining you big baby," Char giggled. "Where are you at?"

"I just left Wichita. I should be there by the end of the day." I said.

"Good, it's been too long since you've come home." She told me.

"I know, I'm sorry, but now I'll stay," I said. Charlotte being so excited for me to come home almost made me forget about how sad Bree- Anne was that I left and after about five hours, I finally reach home. I open the door to my truck and take a deep breath of Texas sunshine. My horse, Hayley runs to me through the pasture only to be stopped by the fence.

"Easy, girl. I missed you too." I hugged her neck and scratched her gray chin. She neighed and nuzzled me. I laughed. "We'll go for a ride a little later. I know we have a lot of those to catch up on, don't we?" She almost nodded as if she knew exactly what I was saying.

The screen door slammed, "Jazz!" Char ran down the steps of the porch and hugged me tightly. It was a good thing I didn't need to breathe, or I would have been unconscious from the tightness of her hug.

"Hey, Char." I laughed and kissed her forehead in a way an older brother does to a little sister. "Miss me?"

"Shut up." She laughed too. "Peter! Jasper is here!"

"Hey, man!" Peter joined us outside, and I pulled him into a hug too.

"You don't know how happy I am to be home."

 _-rm-_

I took my time getting settled into my old room. I changed the sheets, dusted the pictures on the wall of Hayley that I took when I first got her as a filly and took the ones down of Alice and my wedding. I didn't know what I would replace them with, but it didn't matter. It was time for a fresh start.

"Hey, can I come in?" Char asked as she knocked on the door.

"Sure, what's up?" I asked.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to talk." She plopped down on my freshly made bed. Her short whispy sun tinted honey blonde hair bounced at her cheekbones.

"Talk?" I asked.

"Yeah, Peter told me you left the Cullen's."

"Oh. Yeah. What of it?" I sat down at the desk chair with my torso facing the back of the chair and my legs crossed at my ankles.

"Well, you have been with them for years. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I am okay," I assured.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine, Char. I wanted to come home, so here I am." I said.

"Are you sure?" She asked again.

"Charlotte."

"What?"

"I am fine." I laughed.

"Alright, alright, just making sure." She said, getting up and heading for the door. She smoothed her tank top that didn't completely cover her stomach and showed her belly ring. I knew she only had it because Peter liked it. I didn't want to think too much about what kind of kinks they had. Gross.

"Thank you. I promise I am okay."

"Okay. Well, I think Peter wanted to go hunt." She grabbed the doorknob. "He wants you to go with him."

"Oh, alright, sure. Just tell him to give me a second?"

"Sure." She said and closed the door behind her leaving me to myself again. I smiled at the progress I had made in my room. I was slowly getting my life back to the way I wanted it. There weren't any flowers in my room, and no teddy bears on my bed. Instead, there was a blue, white, and black comforter on my bed covering my camouflage sheets. It was mine and exactly how I liked it. I couldn't ignore the ecstasy that I had my life back.

 _-rm-_

After the night of hunting, we started a bonfire in the yard and got hammered. We sat on stumps drinking beer together just catching up. Char joined us sometime around midnight with some wine. She came from a classier kind of people than Peter, and I did so naturally, we laughed at her when she was drinking her high-end red wine as we through whatever beer can we had in our hand into the fire.

"At least this tastes like something unlike your glorified watered down pee cans over there." She said, pouting.

"Hey, don't be like that, babe." Peter said, still laughing.

"You started it, meanie." She stuck her tongue out at him. He kissed her.

"If y'all start doing that, I am going inside." I covered my eyes.

"Oh, shut up, Jazz." Peter laughed. I rolled my eyes and stared at the neon blue, vibrant red-yellow flames move together in their endless ballroom dance. They were partners for life and for some reason, I thought about Alice. I started wondering if I made a disastrous mistake by leaving her. I grabbed another beer from the cooler full of ice sitting between Peter and myself. I had to drown the pain of the heartache. Yesterday, I thought this was the best thing for me. I felt I needed to get out of that relationship of dress-up dolls and flowers. Today, I started regretting my decision, and I couldn't figure out why. It's not like I wanted her back, well, maybe I did. I didn't know what I wanted. I threw the empty beer can into the fire and grabbed another.

"Woah, there, buddy. You alright over there?" Peter asked.

"Sorry, what?"

"I asked if you were okay. You're pounding those beers pretty fast."

"Oh, yeah, sure, I'm fine." I lied, but guys didn't talk about their feelings especially with other guys.

"If you say so," He laughed. I forced a laugh along with him and poked at the fire with a stick to disturb the endless dance.

"Hey, Jazz, have you written any songs lately?" Charlotte asked me sometime later.

"I kind of have. Why?"

"I'd like to hear it." She smiled. "I've missed the music in the house."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's so quiet around here without it."

"Well, let me get my guitar." I smiled and ran into the house and grabbed Old Oak. "I started writing this some time ago when I was trying to convince Alice to move back here. As you can tell, it didn't really work." I laughed.

"Well you're here now, and that's all that matters, right?" Char smiled.

"Exactly." I smiled back at her and sat back down on my tree stump chair and tuned the strings of my guitar. The notes echoed through the pasture. "Alright, so this is called _What About Now."_ I cleared my throat and started to sing. " _The sign on the window said for sale or trade on the last remaining dinosaur Detroit made. Seven hundred dollars was a heck of a deal for a four hundred horsepower jukebox on wheels, and that road rolls out like a welcome mat I don't know where it goes, but it beats where we're at. We always said someday somehow, we were gonna get away, gonna blow this town. What about now? How about tonight? Baby for once let's don't think twice. Let's take that spin that never ends that we've been talking about. What about now? Why should we wait? We can chase these dreams down the interstate and be long gone before the world moves on and makes another round. What about now? We've been putting this off baby long enough. Just give me the word, and we'll be kicking up dust we both know it's just a matter of time until our hearts start racing for that county line. What about now? How about tonight? Baby, for once let's don't think twice. Let's take that spin that never ends that we've been talking about. What about now? Why should we wait? We can chase these dreams down the interstate and be long gone before the world moves on and makes another round. What about now? We could hang around this town forever making plans, but there won't ever be a better time to take this chance. What about now? How about tonight? Baby, for once let's don't think twice. Let's take that spin that never ends that we've been talking about. What about now? Why should we wait? We can chase these dreams down the interstate and be long gone before the world makes another round. What about now…what about now…_ "

"Well," Char said when I played my last chord. "If I were Alice, I would have left with you."

I laughed, "thank you."

"Char is right, man, that is a pretty good song. How long have you wanted to come home?"

"I don't know. I guess I have always missed this." I gestured to the pasture, setting Old Oak down at my feet, leaning the neck of the guitar against my legs.

"Why did you ever go with them, then?" Char asked.

"I guess after Maria changed me and made me her little puppet it's all I knew." I laughed. "No, but seriously. After she died, Peter and I got separated. You know how we fought together in the Civil War, anyway, Carlisle found me passed out in the woods. I didn't know what I was or how to survive on my own. I stopped feeding and it almost killed me. If Carlisle hadn't been hunting that day, I would have died."

Charlotte nodded as Peter cracked another beer. I continued with my story, "I woke up some days later in a hospital. I thought I was human again and the past year of my life was some crazy dream I had then the burn in my throat started up again. I guess I was so full of morphine I didn't notice right away when I woke up. I asked Carlisle if I had heartburn and he explained what had happened. I thought he was crazy and needed to be locked up somewhere because vampires were just some monster in the storybooks. They weren't real."

I sat my guitar against my legs and continued my story, "he brought me cups of blood to drink to get my strength up again, and I still didn't believe what I was until the burn radiated throughout my whole body. I grabbed the cup, and I remember I tore into it with my teeth. It wasn't enough. I unhooked myself from the IV, which Carlisle later told me was giving me blood, and tried to jump out the window. I needed more. Carlisle came into the room as I was rattling the window trying to get it open and pulled me back to my bed. He must have had paternal instincts or something to have the strength to pull a newborn back mid-hunt."

I laughed and fished around in the cooler for another beer. "But, he did and managed to strap me down. He brought me more and more blood to get my thirst under control, and I guess the rest is history. Sometime later, we found Alice, and I guess it was love at first sight or something. I told her about Peter, and I told her that he was basically my brother. We fought, died, and were reborn together. I told her how I thought about him every day, wondering if he was still alive and okay. She surprised me one day by taking me to Dallas. She said she wanted me to see this bar she used to go with her friends before we met when she had her 'wild years.' Young and in love, that was all the excuse I needed, and I would have followed her anywhere." I explained.

"Well, I was inside the bar," Peter said, and I smiled back at the memory. "Alice was able to track me down and reconnected us do to her gift. That's when the three of us found this land and built the ranch. We lived together for a few years before I met you Char, and I guess the rest you know." Peter laughed. Right after Char and Peter got married, Alice and I moved back in with Carlisle and the clan since Alice and Charlotte could never get their differences aside. I didn't realize before how much of my life I spent making Alice happy. Maybe that's why I loved her because I really didn't know how to be anything but a woman's puppet. It left a bitter taste in my mouth, so I covered it with the taste of beer.

The rest of the night was filled with old stories. I told my fair share of what I'd been up too, and so did they. I laughed at old memories of stupid things Peter and I did when we were in the War. Eventually, the sun came up, but our stories continued. It was easy to forget we were monsters.


	5. chapter one: reborn

_AN: I'd like to remind everyone that this story is rated_ _ **M**_ _for_ _ **mature content, heavy themes, and adult language.**_

 _As always, a review gets you a sneak peak of the next chapter._

 _Reminder: these aren't Stephenie Meyer's vampires_

 _enjoy_

 **reborn**

 **swan home - cullen home**

 **seattle, washington**

 **bella**

 **chapter one**

I laid in bed listening to my alarm clock go off. I couldn't help but beg for more sleep. I stare at the picture on my night table. It was of me laying in a hospital bed. I was all sweaty and pink from her first feeding session. I was holding my baby girl the nurse just handed her to me from inside her little incubator. Fifteen and terrified, I had no idea what I was going to do with a baby and not just any baby: a _vampire_ baby. It didn't matter though. She was mine, and it didn't matter how she got into my arms. I loved her with all my heart.

"Julie, honey, it's time to wake up." I gently shook her when I finally dragged myself out of bed. My morning routine didn't really change that much since Juliette was born. I just had to wake up two hours earlier to get her up and dressed for preschool. I waited a year to place her in school so she could go with her aunt Leah and uncle Seth. We really were a screwed-up family. My daughter had an uncle and an aunt a year younger than her and my half brother and sister were just four years old.

People can judge, and they're harsh, but I wouldn't change us for the world. Needless to say, when Charlie and Sue found out they were expecting, we moved into a bigger house in Seattle. Our little two-bedroom house from my parents' marriage days was far too small for a growing family of six. Money was always tight when it was just Charlie and me in the house, but with three growing babies and a new wife, Charlie had to quit his position in Forks and transfer to Seattle for a bigger paycheck. I felt bad for him. He loved that little town under a constant cover of clouds.

"I don't wanna." Julie groaned and buried herself further underneath the blankets.

I laughed, "neither did I, but here I am. Now come on, baby."

"No," she pouted.

"Don't make me get grandpa. I will." I teased.

"No!" She giggled and shot up. Dad had a way of tickling her to death which almost always resulted in me changing her sheets.

"We've got a lot of work to do," I wipe her green eyes and tug at the rats in her beautiful bronze-red hair. The morning is crazy and loud full of children's laughter and forks hitting plates. I said goodbye to Sue and Charlie when they left for work. I always took the kids to pre-k since their school was on my college's campus. The noise of the three little ones kept my thoughts away and how much I was actually struggling with raising a child by myself. Sure, Charlie and Sue were doing everything they could to help me, but they had two babies and a family of their own and no matter how much I tried and how much they tried, Julie and I weren't a part of that family and maybe that's why every day since the Cullen's left I made a trip to their old home. I needed help.

As much as I didn't want Edward back, I couldn't deny the fact I missed him and wished my daughter had a father. I hated the fact she never would get the chance to meet her uncles and aunts and grandparents on her father's side. They were great even if Edward wasn't and I loved them, and I knew they would have loved her. I dropped the kids off and decided to skip my first class. I had to go check the house again like something might change. I drove in silence to Forks and let my mind think of the Cullen's, and I wondered if they even knew about Juliette and really just didn't care she was here or if Edward never told them.

The house was still empty. I didn't know why I thought that would change. It hadn't for five years, and it wasn't going to change anytime soon. Sighing, I slowly return to my SUV. I had to sell my truck since there wasn't a back seat for Julie's car seat. I missed that old thing, I never thought I would, but I guess things were just changing so fast. I had to grow up so fast. I needed to stop coming here. A deer running through the woods interrupts my pity party. She wasn't so much running but sprinting in front of me. I wondered if a bear or a wolf was in the area and I picked up my pace. The last thing I needed was to be eaten alive. I was wrong about the bear, though, a familiar vampire cuts in front of my path and before I am able to say a word, he moves my long sun tinted chestnut hair behind my shoulder.

"Welcome to the game," he seductively purrs and pierces his teeth through my skin and sinks them into my neck.

 _-rm-_

"Daddy, I said I'm going to be okay." I folded my arms and looked up to Charlie, his full black mustache covering his entire upper lip. I wondered what he looked like without it. I don't think I have ever seen his naked lip. He probably wouldn't even be _Dad_ without it.

"Just one more time, Bells," He smiled at me.

"Daddy, Angie is waiting for me. Please?"

"Just one more time. Make your old man happy."

"Fine, I'm ready." I turned towards the fireplace, my back towards Charlie. He grabbed my loosely curled hair that was pulled back in a ponytail at the top of my head. I put both my hands on top of his hand and pulled his hand as close and as tight to my scalp as my 10-year-old strength would allow. Then I turned counter-clockwise, so his arm bent the opposite way and kneed him in the groin, obviously not very hard but enough to show him I knew what I was doing so I could get in the car with Angie, Sarah, and their mother to go to California for a two-week summer camp. Plus, I assumed he had some socks, or something tucked in his underwear to protect himself from my knee.

"Good job, Bella!" Charlie beamed like only a proud father could.

"I told you," I tried to act annoyed, but I was pretty proud of myself. With that move alone, I was probably the most lethal ten-year-old girl that would be at that summer camp. While I had spent the night at Angie's countless number of times before, I had never been out of the state of Washington without my father and being the chief of police, he was worried about his little girl. I had self-defense training probably every weekend for as long as I could remember. I wondered when Charlie would give me a can of mace or something.

A car horn beeped in the distance.

"Can I go now?" I asked him.

"Are you sure you don't want to show me one more time?" Charlie smiled at me.

"Daddy!"

"Alright, alright," he bent down and hugged me a little too tight. I pretended to gasp. "Sorry, I'm just going to miss you so much."

The car horn beeped again, "I'll miss you too, Daddy, I'm going to miss my plane."

"I know. Be safe, okay?" I nodded. That was the first time I saw my father cry. So, when I had ever given any thought to how I would die, I didn't think it would be because I didn't know how to defend myself. I suppose I always thought it would be because of old age or cancer, but I always knew my dad would be proud that I knew how to defend myself. I guess he didn't plan for vampires. I guess he didn't consider that the supernatural existed, and neither did I, and I always thought of myself as invincible. So, when Edward Cullen came into my life, I guess I realized just how fragile human life really was.

 _-rm-_

When my world went black, I didn't expect to be dying. My whole body was on fire, but I also felt like I fell through the ice of a lake. It was like someone was dumping hydrogen over my head and my skin bubbled and tickled. I felt like sandpaper and marbles. It wasn't what I expected dying to feel like. I didn't expect dying to feel like a competition of fire and ice. I thought it would be one or the other. I didn't know fire and ice could dance together, but I was wrong. My entire being was tingling and numb.

I heard traffic in the distance passing by. I heard children giggling playing with a jump rope. I heard life move on, and I wondered if I was having some sort of an out of body experience, but I didn't know how I could when I could move my toes and fingers. I started moving my feet and hands and slowly my arms and legs and tried to open my eyes. I couldn't. Something was preventing me from doing so, but I felt restless, so I sat up. I heard a small animal move, and my eyes opened in a flash, and I heard myself snarl and hiss like a monster. All I knew was I experienced a burn in my throat in my chest more intense than I ever imagined. I didn't even make sure I had clothes on and bolted out the door. I didn't even take into consideration where I was and sprinted through the forest and across highways and interstates. A chorus of car horns applauded my presence. It didn't matter because I was faster than them.

I don't know how far I ran or for how long. I stopped at the first person I saw. She was walking to her car with a paper bag full of groceries. I snatched her up like a bird to a fish in a pond and pinned her to the alley wall behind the grocery store. I was like an animal, a monster, and I drained the life out of her before I had time to realize what I was doing. Her blood tasted so sweet. Almost like honey. I needed more. Snarling, I threw her down and went inside the store looking for more honey. In the bathroom was another woman. I grabbed her and locked her in the stall with me. She didn't have time to beg for her life because as fast as the first woman, I drained every drop of blood from her body. Her blood wasn't like honey. It was cool, like peppermint and vanilla but that was all wrong. Their blood tasted nothing like honey or peppermint or vanilla. I didn't know what it was, and I didn't know how it was possible, but I needed more.

I threw the stall door open. I didn't even unlock it. I just ripped it off its hinges and ran for the door, and I saw my reflection in the mirror, and just like that, the world stopped. Reflection girl had blood on her mouth and clothes. She was horrifying. Her shirt was torn across the sleeves maybe from the branches of sharp trees in the woods, and there was a bloody gash on her forehead. Now, I know how crazy this seems, but I watched it heal. It was red then pink and just like that nothing but a scar, and after that, there was no trace of a wound at all. I touched my temple where the gash was in disbelief and looked into my eyes. I had never seen such a bright, vivid, beautiful red. It wasn't the color of blood but not like the red in a rainbow either. They were almost liquid like a glass of water that someone squeezed a whole bottle of food coloring and glitter in.

I couldn't stop admiring the beautiful girl in the mirror. Her hair was long and full and fell in soft curls around her defined cheekbones, sharp jaw, and shoulder blades. It had highlights that even the most talented hair stylists couldn't perform. They were amber blonde and rose gold dark chocolate coffee colored and fell in all the right places. I twirled a curl around my finger to make sure it was real. Reflection girl was slender and toned. I could see her perfect collar bones under her perfect, flawless almost translucent diamond skin. All that being said, no matter how beautiful reflection girl was; she was a monster. The blood caking and cracking on her lips proved that, and it wasn't something that could be easily forgotten, and no matter how long I scrubbed at my mouth with water from the bathroom sink, the stain was still there, and I realized what I had become.


	6. chapter two: creator

_AN: In this chapter, Jasper sings a song called Even If It Breaks Your Heart by Eli Young Band. I, in no way claim rights to this song. All credit belongs to their rightful owners ( us/album/even-if-it-breaks-your-heart/448973403?i=448973409 )_

 _Now that that little disclaimer is over, let's get back to the good stuff._

 _I'd like to remind everyone that this story is rated_ _ **M**_ _for_ _ **mature content, heavy themes, and adult language.**_

 _As always, a review gets you a sneak peak of the next chapter._

 _Reminder: these aren't Stephenie Meyer's vampires_

 _enjoy_

 **creator**

 **whitlock ranch - cullen home**

 **dallas, texas**

 **jasper**

 **chapter two**

Over the years, things settled easily. I moved on completely from Alice and dated on and off. I wasn't in that big of a hurry to get serious with someone again. I was enjoying my freedom and the simplicity of a single man's country life. It was nice not having to check in with anyone and do whatever I wanted to do. I went to Italy every year around Christmas to spend it with Carlisle and everyone. I was adult enough to keep my composure around Edward even if he wasn't. He had a hard time growing up apparently. It was sad really, but things between Alice and I patched up nicely. She said she had forgiven me for leaving her and we were on the road to friendship again. Without the pressure of marriage, I realized how easy it was to fall in love with her. She really was a great girl, and I sometimes wished our marriage didn't have to end, but we were both over that now, and it was really for the best. I suppose it's hard to stop loving the woman you've loved for a hundred years.

I was planning another trip to Italy in a few months to see Bree- Anne graduate high school. I never realized how fast life went when I wasn't there every day watching a human grow up. She was so different each year, and I couldn't have been prouder of her. She had been accepted into Yale and Harvard just like Carlisle, but she insisted on going to school in Dallas to be close to me. It was hard to convince her to go to the better schools. I loved having her at the ranch, and she and Charlotte had the best relationship. It seemed like everyone's life was moving forward quite nicely until Char came into my room to tell me about a vision she had. Charlotte got visions like Alice did but they were more like getting glimpses of the past of people's life at random. There was no reason why she would get one. Most of the time they were memories of people she knew or involved people who she knew. Other times, it was just a random vision of a stranger. If she tried really hard and focused all her energy on the memory, she could get the full story.

I was in my room writing a song for Bree- Anne as a gift for graduation. She used to love it when I sang to her when she was a little girl, so I knew she'd love it if I wrote a song for her. I sang quietly to myself while strumming Old Oak. " _Way back on the radio dial, the fire got lit inside a bright-eyed child. Every note just wrapped around her soul, from steel guitars to Memphis, all the way to rock and roll. Woah, oh, I can hear them playing. I can hear the ringing of a beat-up old guitar. Whoa, oh, I can hear them singing 'keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart.' Downtown is where I used to wander. Old enough to get there but too young to get inside. So, I would stand out on the corner, listen to the music playing every Friday night. Whoa, oh, I can hear them playing. I can hear the ringing of a beat-up old guitar. Whoa, oh, I can hear them singing 'keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart.' Some dreams stay with you forever, drag you around and bring you back to where you were. Some dreams keep on getting better, gotta keep believing if you wanna know for sure. Woah, oh, I can hear them playing. I can hear the ringing of a beat-up old guitar. Whoa, oh, I can hear them singing keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart. Keep on dreaming, even if it breaks your heart. Keep on dreaming. Don't let it break your heart_."

"That was beautiful, Jazz," Char said. I turned around from my desk. She was leaning against the door frame into my room, smiling, watching me play.

"How long have you been standing there?" I laughed.

"For the whole song. Why? Do I make you nervous?" She sat down in the old worn-down blue love seat in my room. It wasn't even hardly blue anymore. The color worn away with age, it was almost brown.

"No, I just didn't know I had an audience."

"Just me." She smiled. I set my guitar down.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I wanted to tell you about this weird vision I had." She said.

"Okay?"

"Well, it involves Edward." She said.

"So?"

"Did you know why he wanted to move to Italy?" She crossed her legs and bounced her foot. The pink nail polish on her toes shined with the sun coming in through the open window. I wondered if she wished other girls lived in the house to enjoy things like that with her.

"No, I didn't really care." I shrugged.

"Understandable, well, he got that girl he was dating, that Bella pregnant."

"Vampires can't get humans pregnant, Char. You must be mistaken."

"I know, Jazz. I thought that too. I looked further into the past, and she hadn't been with anyone else but him. She didn't get an implant or anything. It's his baby."

"Oh my god." I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Is the kid human?"

"At first I thought she was." She said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the vision I saw was the kid with Bella. She was celebrating her birthday. She looked so much like Edward that's why I looked more into it. She was born three months early, and she looks far older than five. I would say she looks and acts about six or seven."

"So, she's just aging faster than humans?" I asked. That didn't seem so bad.

"And when she was born, I guess Bella lost a lot of blood. The doctors didn't know why or how. The only conclusion I could come to is that the fetus was feeding on her mother." She explained.

"Oh my god," I said again.

"I think it's only a matter of time before the child needs blood to live."

"You think she'll stop aging and the venom in her blood will freeze." I continued her thought.

"I think it's only a matter of time before this kid becomes a full-fledged vampire."

"So? Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

"You know the Volturi, Jasper. If they catch wind of this, they'll assume someone made an immortal child and that someone being Edward. You were part of that clan. They'll come for you after they get done slaughtering the Cullen's and now Peter and myself are involved. We could all be dead because of this." She said. I didn't know what to say. I could feel her fear in my soul. She was terrified as well as she should have been. I knew I should have killed Edward when I had the chance which only made me wonder why Bella was still alive. Edward had a habit of killing the girls he was bored with after he dated them. Why was Bella so different? Then it hit me. He didn't kill her because he _knew_ she was pregnant and left anyway.

"That piece of shit," I mumbled and stood up.

"What?" Char asked.

"Char, I have to go take care of something. I'll be home in a few days."

"What? Where are you going?" She stopped me from stuffing clothes in a duffel bag.

"It doesn't matter."

"Like hell, it doesn't." She said.

"I don't want you to worry. Don't worry, I am going to take care of this. You're going to be safe, we all are." I said and left the house without another word.

 _-rm-_

I drove through the rest of the day and that night to get to Forks before sunrise. I only drove to collect my thoughts. I didn't know what I was going to do to clean up Edward's mess. I ran through all the options. I could kill Edward's kid, but what would that do to Bella? After all, she is the kid's mother. I couldn't imagine what that hurt would feel like. I knew it had to be done, though. I had to kill the child to protect my family and the Cullen's and even Bella from her own child. I didn't know how I would do it though. Would I just drain the child of her blood like a human or would her venom counteract with mine and progress the change faster? That would almost be easier though. Killing another vampire wouldn't be as hard as killing an innocent human. After all, monsters kill humans and I did my best to not be a monster. I guess Carlisle 'raised' me right. I couldn't tell if it was that or if I knew my gift wouldn't allow me to make peace with myself.

I wondered if the easiest thing would be to kill them both. At least Bella wouldn't have to mourn the death of her child, but her family would. I didn't really know them, so I guess I could eventually make amends with myself, it wouldn't be until after her father died though. Then I wondered if it would be best to find Edward and make him clean up his mess on his own. Then I could kill him, and I would be happy about it. I would break his neck with a smile on my face. He'd cause me too much of a mess, and it would be a pleasure to end it for him. I wondered just how evil I was and maybe it was me who needed to be dead all along. I sat in my truck in front of the old house thinking about how disgusting I was for hours. I decided the best thing would be to kill Bella and her kid. If I had to be evil, I could at least be humane about it.

I heard stumbled, human footsteps approach the property, so I moved my truck into the garage. I didn't want anyone to know where I was. I settled in the trees surrounding the house and watched the human approach the door. When she turned realizing no one was home, I was caught off guard by seeing Bella. The world blurred into a sea of green fuzz. Though I knew she couldn't see me, my eyes were locked on hers. It was like I could see through her deep brown eyes right into her bright shining soul. I couldn't move my eyes or any other muscle in my body even if I wanted to, I didn't. My mouth filled with saliva and my tongue curled in my mouth. I felt her blood in my mouth without ever tasting it. I felt myself stop breathing, I lost all the human habits I developed over the years, and I was one with the monster inside of me. I never had a thirst so intense, not even when I was a newborn.

My whole life flashes before my eyes. My human life too. I see my mother, my father, my siblings. I watched myself sign up for the war and Maria changing me. I felt the pain of the transformation. Then, I see myself in a house I never saw before. Bella and I were laying in a bed in a beautiful bedroom with red carpet and coffee cream colored walls. We were both naked and panting from the best love I had ever made. She was even more beautiful than I ever thought someone could be. The ring on her left hand sparkled with the moonlight hitting it from the open window; the curtains blew in the breeze.

Now I realize how crazy this sounds, but I feel the blood from my last meal in my body start to move through my veins and into my heart. I felt it beat. I gasped with the sensation I hadn't felt in over one hundred fifty years. I can't decide whether I like the feeling or not. Suddenly I was human again and scared to death. My body jolts to a halt when the beating stops, and I snap out of whatever trance I was in. I feel utterly frozen. She wasn't in front of me anymore, but I could hear a car starting from the distance. I didn't know how long I had been sitting there in my hysteria. Minutes? Days? I couldn't tell, and it drove me insane.

 _-rm-_

I had a hard time pushing the events from yesterday out of my head. My mouth filled with water just thinking of Bella, my throat burned, and in the review mirror of my truck, my eyes were deep red full of thirst and lust, and no matter how many times I blinked, how many deer I drained of life, they never returned to their golden color. I thought I was dying. Actually, scratch that, I thought I was coming _back to life._ Now, I realize how crazy that sounds and if anyone were around to see how insane I was acting, they would probably think it was in best interest to lock me up in a cave or something.

At the same time as yesterday, Bella came stumbling through the woods. I wondered why she kept coming back and how long she had been doing this for. While the rest of us seemed to be moving on with our lives just fine, she wasn't. I almost felt bad for her, but mostly, I felt rage from Edward doing this to her. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to shield her from anything bad happening to her ever again, and that was a problem. That was going to be a huge problem considering why I was here. I was going to kill her and her baby. I was here to clean up a mess, not get tangled up in another one. All I knew was that I couldn't do it. Tomorrow I would have to though.

 _-rm-_

I sit crouched in the trees, waiting for Bella to return. With every thought of her, my heart felt like it was going to start up again like that first day I saw her. Again, my mouth was full of water, and the closer she got, the more intense the burn grew in my throat. I could feel it in my veins, like a million tiny razor blades cutting through them only to be followed by turpentine and a match. When she cuts through the trees, I see her beautiful eyes again. I froze again, but I knew what I had to do. Somehow, I overpowered the trance and sprinted for her. A deer in the distance took off. It was clear they were used to vampires in the area. It's too bad Bella wasn't. At that point, the hunt was started, and I was thankful for my monstrous instincts. I didn't have to convince myself that I was doing the right thing anymore.

She gasps when she sees me. When I get face to face with her, I push her long hair away from her face, her neck behind her shoulder revealing her beautiful neck and the pulse of her beating heart. A snarl escapes my mouth, and I press my teeth straight into her soft skin. When her blood spills into my mouth, it slides with ease over my tongue and soothes the burn in my throat. It's the best I have ever tasted. It's better than any drug. I held her in my arms when she collapsed and savored the velvety taste of her blood. Nothing is better than this moment. I feel her blood literally singing through my body, and the whole world collapses around us.

Her blood was unlike anything I had ever tasted. I'm on a trip like no other. I'm higher than I ever had been before and I'm sure nothing can take me down. I can't help but to devour it, and for some reason, now I realize how crazy it sounds, I saw Carlisle in front of me. _Son, you have to stop this. There are other ways to protect her. You're going to kill her. Stop, you're stronger than this._ I want to tell him there aren't any other ways. I want to tell him I have exhausted all my options, and this was the only way, but for some reason, I can't. I can't tell that stupid little voice in my head that he's wrong and that I am the one who's wrong. I know I have to stop, but I don't know if I can. I don't know if I _really_ want to. _You'll kill her son, you're stronger than this._ I'm not so sure. _You're stronger than this, you're stronger than this._ Carlisle's voice repeats over and over inside my head, and for some reason, I believe him, and I stop drinking and lick the fresh wounds on Bella's neck that I had made to seal them with venom. I'm worried I may have taken too much. I'm afraid I killed her. I am scared I did the thing I set out to do: murder Isabella Swan.

 _-rm-_

I don't know how long I was sitting cross-legged on the floor of the woods cradling Bella in my arms. I stroked her hair and ran my thumb over her soft pale lips. I kissed her forehead. I didn't know why. I felt utterly in love with this girl whom I hadn't given a second thought in years, and I needed to do everything in my power to protect her, but the thing that did the most harm to her was me. Not Edward. Not her child. Me.

I couldn't hear her heart beating anymore, and I guess that was for the best. I had to remind myself that's what needed to be done no matter how much it hurts now. I carefully held her close to my chest and carried her to the house and broke the door down with my foot since I no longer had a key. I didn't care if she was dead or not, she needed to be somewhere safe until I figured out what to do. I put her on the couch in the 'family room' I had no idea where to go from here. I still needed to kill the hybrid child, but did I really? I could take her to my ranch and raise her right like Carlisle did to me. I could teach the child how to not be a monster, but what kind of an example would I be? I killed the girl's mother for god's sake I don't think I could explain that.

In the distance, I could hear a group of wolves approaching the property. Great. I decided to wait outside for them. It was like one problem after the next. They all transform before they are visible to me and walk as a pack to the house.

"Look who's back." A young werewolf smirks. He, like the rest of them, is shirtless and apparently get their kicks from having the most ab muscles. It's kind of disgusting. I guess they place bets on who can get the biggest. I wondered how many of them were on steroids. He looks like the rest of them: dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, and coffee- tinted skin. He, unlike the others, has a long nose and a soft jawline highlighting just how boyish he is. I suppose someone would think they were beautiful, but to me, they were all like annoying Frat boys who really needed to get a life.

"Paul," Sam sighed. He stood in the center of the pack. "Knock it off."

"Sam," I greet.

"What's going on?"

"I heard about a mess left for me by Edward Cullen," I said.

"Oh, you mean how the low life knocked up Bella and took off?" Another werewolf I never had seen before said. His hair was a little longer and had a sharper jawline, but his eyes had youth in them.

"I told you we should have killed them all before they all left, Jared." The one called Paul pushed Jared's shoulder. Jared shoved Paul back.

"Boys!" Sam snapped at them. "Sorry about them. So why is this your problem?"

"Yeah, we've been getting along just fine without you leeches hanging around," Paul said. I'd really like to punch him in the throat.

"Paul, last time," Sam growled at the young wolf. "But he raises a good point."

"Well, I caught wind of the situation, and I don't know how familiar you are with Vampire Law, but it is against said law to create immortal children."

"Juliette isn't immortal," Jared said.

"I know," I replied.

"So why are you here?" Sam asked.

"If the Volturi, that's like the police of vampires, they are Vampire Royalty. It's the closest thing vampires have to law or a general code. The Volturi don't take breaking the code lightly. If the gets the word out they won't believe Bella's kid isn't immortal."

"Why?"

"Well, to my knowledge, this has never happened in the vampire world. I don't even think Carlisle knew it was possible for a vampire to get a human pregnant."

"And your point?" A different wolf spoke. He had a dimple on his chin.

"My point is I have reason to believe this child is in the process of becoming a full vampire."

"How?" Sam asked.

"I know Bella lost a lot of blood during the birth and the doctors didn't know how. It makes sense to me that the fetus was feeding on her."

"That's crazy." The boy with the dimple said.

"I have to agree with Embry," Sam said, looking at dimple boy.

"Is it?" I asked. "Then tell me, how old is Bella's kid."

"I don't know, almost six?"

"Okay, fine and how smart is she? How old does she look?"

"I guess you have a point," Sam said.

"I know I have a point. Has anyone seen her bleed or get hurt?"

"I haven't," Jared said.

"So, what? Why should we believe you? After all, you are just a leech." Paul finally spoke again.

"Paul, I wasn't kidding," Sam pushed him out of the semi- circle the pack was standing in around me. "Now get!"

"What?"

"I said get. You need to learn some respect, boy."

"Respect? Look what he is, Sam! Have you lost your mind?" Sam growled and transformed into his wolf form. Paul took off with that. I guess you have to respect the Alpha even if you didn't have respect for anyone else.

"What if you're wrong?" Another boy asked. He was smaller than the rest of them and was shyer.

"I'm not," I said.

"How do you know?" He asked.

"What other explanation is there? Here's where I am at, you either help me get this kid and stop the transformation, or you have a wild newborn vampire slaughtering the town on your hands in a few years," I said. Sam went behind the tree line to transform back to human and put some clothes on.

"You can't teach her to be like you?" The smaller boy asked.

"Why should I? She's not my responsibility. She's Edward's, and I don't see him anywhere, do you?" I folded my arms.

"Can we teach her?" The boy asked.

"Quill, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I think Jasper has a point," Sam said, rejoining the group.

"So, you're on my side?" I asked.

"We are," Sam nodded.

"So, you're just going to kill her?" Quill asked. "What do we do about Bella?"

"Bella is taken care of. I guess you'll just have to trust me," I said.

"It's for the best. You don't know how strong a newborn is," Sam said. Quill, unlike Paul, knew how to keep his mouth shut once the Alpha made a decision.


	7. chapter three: singer

_AN: I'd like to remind everyone that this story is rated_ _ **M**_ _for_ _ **mature content, heavy themes, and adult language.**_

 _As always, a review gets you a sneak peak of the next chapter._

 _Reminder: these aren't Stephenie Meyer's vampires_

 _enjoy_

 **singer**

 **cullen home**

 **forks, Washington**

 **jasper**

 **chapter three**

I left Bella in the living room on the sofa while I drove to Seattle. I grabbed her driver's license out of her purse in her car on the way off the property to show the daycare at the university. Sam told me that Sue, who I guess was Charlie's new wife, took their twins and Bella's kid to daycare that morning for Bella. She had free child care since she was a student and for whatever reason, Bella couldn't take the three kids to the center this morning.

I planned on telling the day care that I was the kid, Juliette's uncle who was visiting from Dallas for the week and I would use Bella's license to convince them that Bella was okay with me picking her up. I also thought my gift would be helpful. I figured if I had a hard time getting the kid, I would just influence their emotions to trust me. I would make the kid excited and happy to see me so no one would know the difference. The hard part was figuring out when I would do it. While I have killed human adults, hell, I just did it, and vampires, I never killed a child. I didn't know if I was strong enough to do it no matter how much I tried to tell myself it was the right thing to do. I had the wolf pack on my side and that was pretty good verification that it needed to be done. I just didn't know if I could do it.

The drive to the university was faster than I expected. I wished I had driven slower. I sat in the parking lot and drummed on the steering wheel of my truck with my thumbs. I couldn't convenience myself to get out of the car and do what had to be done. I closed my eyes and stopped myself from breathing. I thought if I stopped all my habits humanity would drain from me and I would become the monster I knew I was. I waited until my mind was fully in terms with the act I was about to perform and went inside the day care office which was inside the student center. I wandered around like an idiot until a student asked if I was lost.

"That obvious?" I nervously laughed. Not because I looked like an idiot wondering around.

"A little bit," the girl laughed adjusting her flowered backpack on her shoulders. It looked so heavy, even for a vampire. I wondered if it was necessary to have such a heavy back pack and just how many miles she packed that thing around just today. "Need some help?"

"Please," I smiled at her.

"Where are you headed?"

"The daycare center," I said. She almost looked disappointed when I said that, like she knew she didn't have a chance with me because I had a kid and probably a wife or something. She really was quiet pretty with long blond hair and rich brown eyes. She had a nose ring that sparkled under the florescent lights, but I had too much going on right now. I couldn't be thrown off and couldn't afford any distractions. More importantly, I couldn't forget how just this morning my heart was beating for Bella Swan.

"You turn to pick up your baby?" She asked leading me through the student center.

"Oh, no, she's not mine," I replied. "I am her uncle."

"Oh, got you," she adjusted the strap of her backpack again.

"Heavy?" I chuckled.

"That obvious?" She teased.

"Would you like me to carry it for you?" I asked. I guess I couldn't let the monster completely take over and that was dangerous, incredibly dangerous.

"Oh, no, I'm okay," she smiled up at me.

"Are you sure?" Damn Jasper shut up. Stay focused.

"I'm sure. I'm done for today anyway. I won't have to carry once I show you where the daycare is."

"I appreciate you showing me. Sorry to keep you."

"Don't be," she smiled again. "Anyway, here we are."

"Thank you again," I said.

"Not a problem," she nods and took off. I wondered what it would be like to be a human and in college and I thought about just how much I missed by not being human which was a good thing because I was turning into a monster again. It's what I needed.

Inside the center, my mouth bubbles. Just like veal to a human, young blood is a delicacy to a vampire. I tried to not let myself feel bad about this. I had a job to do, but it didn't matter. I hated myself already.

 _You're a monster, Jasper, you can do this. You can do this._ I thought to myself.

"May I help you?" A man steps over to me with a baby boy on his hip who reached for me. I tried not to lose focus.

 _You have a job to do. Protect your family._ "Yes, I am here for Juliette."

"What's your name?" The man tilted his head.

"Jasper…Swan. Jasper Swan, I am Juliette's uncle." I lied using my gift to get him to feel comfortable around me. I needed the man to trust me, but it wasn't working.

"I haven't seen you around," he said.

"I live in Dallas," I lied again. "It's where I go to school." I was really impressed on how easy the lies came to me. At least that was getting simpler.

"Give me one second," he said and stepped into the closed off office. He was probably going to look up in Juliette's file that I was who I said I was. I started to panic. I knew I wouldn't be listed anywhere on there and I didn't know what lie I was going to use next. I guess it wasn't getting easier after all. I walked over to the man in the office.

"I'm not finding you listed anywhere on Juliette's emergency contacts, Jasper," the man said.

"I'm only here once every couple years to visit. Bella probably didn't think it was necessary to list me. My sister did give me her driver's license though," I handed it to him and leaned against the door frame to speak to him. "She had to take our half brother and sister to the doctor and couldn't be here to pick Juliette up and asked me to do it for her."

"Let me ask my manager," he said and stepped past me and came back with an older woman with short graying hair.

"We're sorry Mr. Swan, we can let Juliette go with you if you are not listed as a contact for her," the woman had incredibly high voice that hurt my ears.

"There must be something you can do," I said.

"It's not that we don't trust you, it's just we can't take any chances."

"I understand," I said. "Is there anything I can do? I can call Bella if you would like." I suggested, looking around the center for a little girl that looked like Bella or Edward.

"I suppose that would work."

"Let me text her and make sure she's not in with the doctor," I lied. I was really texting Charlotte. I needed a woman's voice to pretend to be Bella for me.

 _Char, I am going to call you in a second. Can you pretend to be Bella Swan when I give the phone to this lady. She won't let me take her kid without verifying I am Bella's brother and the kid will be safe with me. Security sure is tight around her. I'll call you again later tonight._

 _-Jazz_

 _Sounds good._

 _Char_

"Looks like she's free," I told the man and the woman with the annoying voice; she pushed her glasses up her nose. I called Charlotte's number.

"Hey, Bella. I'm at the daycare center they just wanted to make sure Juliette is safe with me. Can you talk to this lady?" I ask into the phone.

"Sure," Char giggled. I prayed she'd focus. Charlotte was an overly playful person. I didn't want her blowing our cover, but sure enough, Char came through for me and the lady got Juliette for me. The rest of my plan worked as I hoped. I used my gift to make the kid excited to see me and all was well.

Until we got to my truck.

"What are you doing here?" I sigh at Sam. He was leaning against my truck. Just the thought of that flea bag touching my baby was enough to get the venom in my veins bubbling and boiling. As hard as I tried to remain civil, this was pushing every one of my buttons and I hated it.

"I was just making sure you had everything under control."

"Translated: you wanted to make sure I know how to uphold a promise."

"Hey, I'm just making sure you are the monster you claim to be."

I scoff, "and what happed to trusting me?"

"Again, just making sure you can take care of this."

"If I said I've got it taken care of then I've got it taken care of." I glare, my patience running way past thin.

"Alright, alright," Sam ran off and transformed as soon as he hit the tree line.

"Who was that?" The little girl- Juliette- asks as I pick her up and lift her into the truck.

"Oh, he's a friend of your mom's." I reply, ashamed I have to lie to this girl. I shake my head trying to snap myself out of it. I was on a job that had to be done in order to save my family. I couldn't get week now, no one ever said it was easy to be a monster.

"Are you okay?" She asks with such care in her green eyes it made them sparkle.

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I just blanked or something. Come on, let's get you to your mother," I say, realizing I don't have a car seat. I mean, I know she's too old for a car seat, but I thought kids her age or under some weight were supposed to have some sort of car seat. I try to stop myself from caring about the safety of this child. As Sam and I both knew, I need to complete the job. I just couldn't admit to myself that I knew I couldn't do it. I knew that and so did Sam.

So, I buckle her into the middle of the bench seat in the back of the truck and promise I would drive extra carefully for her sake. I would have to figure out what I was going to do on the drive back to Forks. I knew nothing about children, except from what I remember from Bree Anne and that wasn't a whole lot, but I knew I couldn't ignore my feelings for Bella…the way her blood tasted…how her lips felt on mine…how human she made me feel again…

"Where are we going?" Juliette asks, pulling my mind free of the tangled mess that resided there.

"Huh? What, sorry," I shook my head again.

"I asked where we were going," she laughs at me.

"Oh, uh, some place special. Your mom used to love it there. I think you will too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's where me and your father…grew up…"

"My dad?"

"Yeah," I quietly say and am thankful she didn't press. I didn't know how much Bella had told her about Edward and I didn't want to be the one to explain it to her.

I watch her in the review mirror, at a stop light, she plugs an old iPod into headphones bigger than her own head and start mouthing along to the lyrics of the music. At the next light, I smile back at her. She really was a little Bella mini- me with her jeans with butterflies stitched on the legs and a flannel over her little band T-shirt. She even had black converse just like her mother. The only indication the child was Edward's were those eyes of hers. Then again, I never knew Edward when he had his human eye color, but something deep in my soul knew she wasn't lying. Plus, I knew Edward and what he capable of and this was right in his wheelhouse.

I couldn't help but smile at just how sweet Juliette really was and my mind went back to wrestling the impending questions that fought for attention. Could I really keep a hybrid child safe at my house in Texas? I could trust Peter and Charolette to keep a secret, but did I want to impose that kind of threat on them? Of course not. If the Volturi ever found about that, it would be curtains for all of us and no matinee show tomorrow, but I knew I couldn't kill this incredible child. That was out of the question. I guess I could always find a safe place to 'raise' Bella correctly in the vampire ways and make sure Juliette knew the same rules applied to her and when they were capable of taking care of themselves, I'd let them go their own ways. That would be the safest for everyone involved. Then again, I just got my life back and I loved every second of it. I didn't know how much I truly owed this kid and I wondered if it would make me a horrible selfish person to just send the two on their way without another thought, but I knew I couldn't do that either. All I knew was that I was truly in the middle of a cluster fuck and I didn't know how to get out.

When we finally make it back to the Cullen house, the smell of fresh human blood is strong. It makes my lip curl and I snarl under my breath. My instinct is telling me to hunt, but my heart is preventing it. I can only conclude Bella went out for a hunt of her own. She woke much faster than I expected. Transformations were never this fast. They usually took at least 12 hours to complete and I had only been gone a few hours, I was guessing based on the fact the sun was setting fast. I guessed it could have been closer to 8 hours after I was done dealing with the pack, the school, and driving to and from Seattle. It was amazing to see how fast time went by. I guess humanity showed us that where it's easy to get lost in time when your heart doesn't beat.

I turned around and tapped Juliette on the knee, it looked like she'd started watching a movie or something while we were driving on her iPod. She pulled her headphones off and draped them around her neck.

"Hey, were here, but wait here for a couple minutes okay?" I ask.

"Okay," she says. I was really glad this kid didn't pester me for answers. I left the cabin light on and went into the house.

"Bella? Bella?" I call. "Are you in here?" And like the clouds split and heaven lost an angel, she floats down the stairs. Her beautiful brown waves bounce at her shoulder blades and her eyes, vibrant and rich fill my heart with passion and love that I haven't felt in years and I cant help but stare and admire with the beauty that is my singer.


	8. chapter four: monster

_AN: I'd like to remind everyone that this story is rated_ _ **M**_ _for_ _ **mature content, heavy themes, and adult language.**_

 _As always, a review gets you a sneak peak of the next chapter._

 _Reminder: these aren't Stephenie Meyer's vampires_

 _enjoy_

 **monster**

 **cullen home**

 **forks, washington**

 **bella**

 **chapter four**

I don't know how long I stood in front of the mirror before another woman started to come into the bathroom. I quickly snapped out of my trance and bolted out of the door so, she wouldn't see I was the culprit of the murders just moments before. I did my best to walk out of the store as if I was innocent like I had nothing to hide. The burn was too intense so, I ran. I need a chance to think about what had happened to me.

I ran until I couldn't hear civilization. For all I knew, I probably wasn't even in America anymore. I slowed myself to a walk when I heard a river roaring in the distance. I took my time wandering toward it and tested my new vision. I looked at the individual grains of sand and dirt below my feet. Then I looked at each stitch in the canvas of my tennis shoe. I could see where a hole was starting to form in the canvas and how one of my shoelaces were frayed toward the middle, hanging on desperately to the rest of the shoe. I heard a bird fly over my head and my eyes snapped up. Some hundred feet in the air above, I could see the navy-blue feathers of a crow flying overhead. I couldn't help but smile in amazement.

Slowly, I took off my shoes. I watched in astonishment at how the fabric in my shoes moved with my foot, how the laces weaved in and out of each other to hold each shoe together, then I took off my socks. I never noticed how even though a machine made them; they were different. I had to admit, I really liked my new eyesight, I just didn't know if I liked it _that_ much. My thoughts moved back to the grocery store as I relived the memory of my kills. It was unbelievable I could kill so fast and so easily. I didn't even think about it. I just put my fangs in their neck and sucked the life out of them. Those women had lives that would never continue. I bet they had families waiting for them to come home and they never knew today would be the last time they'd see them. I was starting to understand why the vegetarian lifestyle was the only one to allow the Cullen's to live among humans.

I stuck my feet in the river, and the waves kissed my toes. The movement of the water was the only way I knew it was touching me. I could only assume that my new temperature was the same as the water. It couldn't be much above freezing since there was snow covering some of the rocks. I watched the fish swim by my toes, and I smiled at them until the sun shined just right and I could see my new reflection. So, I quickly pulled my feet out letting the water ripple the monster away. I didn't want to see her. She did things that I knew I could never do, yet, I did. As I put my socks on my feet, I promised to myself I would only be deer and mountain lion from now on, but I knew it was a lie, and so did the venom pumping through my veins.

I took my time walking back to the Cullen house. I remembered going there after I dropped Juliette off at school and I knew my car would be sitting there waiting for me on the side of the road. I didn't recognize the truck sitting in the driveway, but I felt blood moving from inside the vehicle. I snarled as I started sneaking toward the back of the truck. I didn't have to be close to leap through the window and take my next prey. As hard as I tried to fight the monster inside me, I was failing. The closer I got to the truck, the more I noticed there was something different about this blood. It smelled sweeter and tarter, but it also smelled…rotten? It smelled tainted in some way, and it turned me away from the hunt. I snarled and ran to the back of the house, and I jumped into the window I exited earlier. Once inside, I heard someone calling my name, and his voice was sweet like cinnamon and honey. As he called to me, I couldn't help but be lured to the sound of his beautiful voice.

I didn't expect Jasper Cullen to be standing at the bottom of the stairs. More importantly, I didn't expect to feel the way I felt when I saw him. It wasn't love- no love was all wrong. It was longing and need and fear I wouldn't be near him. It was comfort and pain and regret. It was guilt and desire and lust. And I didn't have a clue what was happening to me.

"Uh, hey," He says sheepishly, and I can't help but think how adorably shy he is, it's how he's always been.

"Jasper?" I ask, still in disbelief and confusion.

"Yes," he verifies and I'm almost certain this isn't a dream, but I don't believe him or myself.

"How are you feeling?"

"How am I feeling?" _How am I feeling?_ What the _hell_ was that supposed to mean? I'm feeling I want to jump in your arms and I want you to carry me off into the sunset. I knew that's not what he meant.

"Uh-yeah?" He seems as confused as I do. Well, of course, he is. He can feel what I am after all. Stupid vampire gifts. Then I wondered if he was capable of manipulating my emotions. After all, Edward couldn't read my mind. Maybe I was in the clear. So, I say what needed to be said.

"Well, I'm feeling pretty fucking confused," I'm surprised how angry I sound. "Did _you_ change me? More importantly, _why?_ Where's Edward...Where's Juliette?" I panic, realizing I hadn't seen her since I dropped her off at school well over 6 hours ago. If Jasper was back, I was almost positive Edward was too…taking my daughter away from me. I jumped off the remainder of the stairs and ran to the door only to be stopped by a brick wall that is Jasper Cullen. God, he smells good.

"Jasper! Let me go!" I push him away, surprised by my own strength.

"Bella," he says in that same sugary voice, and I relax. So much for that, There goes that theory. Great. "She's safe. She's outside in my truck watching a movie." I'm skeptical, but I believe him even if I don't want to.

"And why should I believe you?"

"Because I am telling you the truth." He says, almost begging me to believe him. It looks like it almost hurts him that I don't and all I want to do is tell him that I do. So, I do.

"I believe you."

"Really?" His golden eyes match the sweet honeyed sound of his voice.

"Yes, but you have two minutes to explain to me what the hell is going on," I fold my arms across my chest, trying to understand why I am coming off so angry when I feel nothing but lust. "And I want the truth."

"Okay," he sighs, and it takes a long time for him to speak again, almost as if he is carefully categorizing his thoughts. He gazes into my eyes like he is lost. I feel lost too even though I know exactly where I am. I know, logically, I should be confused and even angry with him even as frozen as my heart is, I can feel nothing but confusion.

"I'm waiting."

"Right, sorry…I just don't know where to start."

"Not my problem," I say. My mouth is thinking logically yet my brain is screaming for me to speak from my heart. "I want the truth, and I want it now."

"I know, and you deserve it," he says, looking down at his muddy cowboy boots. I feel a smile tug at my lips. He was always so different than the other Cullen's, and every bit of him was adorable, and I couldn't deny it. "I guess…I guess I'll start from the beginning."

"That would probably be best," I say, and it's exactly what he does. He tells me he is the one who changed me, not that I am surprised, as he says he did it because it was necessary to protect his brother in Texas. However, there's something not entirely true regarding what he's telling me. I know it. It seems I am missing part of the story. As he starts to tell me his intentions, he gets caught off guard and begins a different story.

"Do you know what a singer is?" He asks, and I shake my head. The term had come up when I was researching what Edward was so many years ago when we first met. If only I had dropped it after Edward asked me if I was scared, I should have said yes then ran and never looked back.

"A singer? Like la, la, la," my voice sings. I am a bit of a dork.

He laughs, and it's beautiful, "No, not quite. A 'Singer' as in a 'Vampire's Singer.'"

"I don't know what Singer means."

"It's kind of hard to explain," he says. "A Singer…a Singer is a human whose blood literally calls or sings to a vampire. It's kind of like once a vampire knows the human is their singer, they are tied…connected…"

"Whoa, whoa," I stop him. "Back up. Connected? You mean as in a couple?" I jump up from the couch where we are sitting.

He bites his lip it seems it's what he is wishing would happen, too. "Some singer - vampire relationships go in the direction of mates, yes, but others don't, and I'm not suggesting we become mates." He quickly states.

"Good, because I am not doing that again," I say, but don't mean a word of it.

"What?"

"Falling for a Cullen again," once bitten, twice shy, I think to myself, yet I know I can't be away from him, even though I know I should turn and run.

"I don't blame you, it's why I'm not one."

"What?" I shake my head.

"I'm not a Cullen anymore. Jasper Cullen 'died' five years ago when the Cullen's left. I am no longer legally tied to the name or the clan," he spits the name like it leaves a bitter taste on his tongue.

I blink in surprise, "So, you're saying you left them?"

"I did." He says.

"Why?" I didn't think you could leave your clan. I thought it was some sort of no, no. But what did I know?

"I couldn't deal with all the drama anymore. I think I've been pretty clear about the fact I'm not a dick," he laughs, and it makes my joints feel like jelly.

"Well, I'm glad we can agree on something."

"Um, yeah," he says, as we sit together in the awkward silence, not a word was spoken for at least five minutes.

"So…" I'm almost surprised I am the one to break our silence.

"So"

"Now what?"

"I don't know," he says quite honestly, and I have this unbearable urge to lean into his comfort and tell him it's all going to be okay. But I don't.

"Can you tell me more about singers?" I ask.

"Um, sure?" It seems he's either taken aback or excited by my question. I can't tell which it is. "What do you want to know?"

"What can you tell me? Start from the beginning."

He laughs, "you make it sound so easy, but I'll do my best."

"That's all I am asking," I nod.

He nods, too, "Well a singer is a special kind of human to a vampire. Legend says a vampire can taste a singers' blood on their tongue before they've even tasted it."

"Is that true?"

"It is. I felt the warmth of your blood throughout my body the first time I saw you walking through the woods toward the Cullen house. It's why it took me so long to attempt to change you."

"What do you mean by so long?"

"It took me three days to convince myself I was strong enough to change you. You see, a vampire wants nothing more than to protect their singer from any kind of danger their way and turning their singer into a vampire is probably one of the most dangerous acts a vampire can commit."

"It is? Why is it so much more dangerous than changing any other kind of human?"

"Well, once a vampire tastes the blood of their singer, it's like nothing else. It's a magic key which unlocks both the vampire and the human's soul. They come together as one until a powerful bond is created which makes them realize they are two halves of a whole and beacon is placed within each of their hearts, so they can always find one another no matter where they are. They must always protect each other because they innately know one cannot survive without the other. Finding a singer is a very rare occurrence," he says.

It's why the bond is so profound and so, so unique. When the two are together, they are stronger than any other vampire or almost any other supernatural being. The human's blood tastes like no other blood to a vampire. Once tasted, it's perfect in every way. As if stopping drinking from any human isn't hard enough, drinking from one's singer is almost impossible. At least it's what I've been told. I don't know how I stopped, Bella. I could have just as easily killed you." His voice shakes like he's almost ashamed of his actions.

"But you didn't," I lay my hand on his knee, wanting to comfort him even though I know I shouldn't allow myself to touch him because of my lust. He smiles at my touch, almost as if like he agrees something about it just feels right no matter how wrong we both believe it is. I look up into his eyes, and slowly he begins leaning closer to my mouth. I can't stop myself; I do the same. I huff nervously at his lips, and he silences my nerves with a small, gentle kiss. His lips meld to mine. They're soft, cool and as our mouths move together, I shiver at the sparks fill my body. I didn't know a kiss could feel this good. I wrap my fingers around the curve of his neck and pull him closer, closing my eyes, and we kiss each other desperately, like it was the first kiss for either of us, like we were the only people on the planet, like our lives just began.

 _-rm-_

I can't admit to myself that I am in love with Jasper, and something about the way he kisses me proves he feels the same way, but we kiss in such desperation that neither one of us seems to care. He is the one who breaks the kiss.

"Wow," he smiles lazily.

"What was that?" I ask.

"I don't know," he laughs softly. I can't help but smile too, and he kisses me again. I can't help but keep my lips on his.

"Not a couple?" I ask.

"Definitely not," he laughs again.

"Good," I smile and kiss him again. I could get used to this whole no label thing.

"So," he says.

"So?" I tease like he said earlier.

"Now what?"

"I don't know."

"Me either," I smile. "I guess we start with this," I kiss Jasper again, and for a second, I'm starting to feel like a 12-year-old with her first crush. Stupid vampire logic. Then I begin to think about Charlie…Sue…and the twins and I know I can't be trusted around them. Especially with the fragility of my new needs. Even if I am entirely 'fed' I know I can't be near them. It's not safe.

"I sense…uneasiness from you," Jasper says.

"What about Charlie? I can't go home. Not like this."

"Well, you're more than welcome to stay here. It's not like the Cullen's will be coming back."

"You're suggesting I live here?" I ask.

"Consider the house a gift." He opens his arms, gesturing to the area. My jaw drops. He can't be serious. I had been looking at houses for a long time for me and Juliette to live in. I figured it was time she had a proper home and I knew I couldn't afford anything much over one hundred thousand dollars and this house here, knowing the Cullen's had to be a million-dollar house. There was no way I could A. afford this house or B. accept it as a gift.

"Bella?" His sticky- sweet voice breaks my thoughts.

"Jasper, I can't live here," I say.

"Why not?" He asks.

"Well, one, I go to school in Seattle. That's home to Juliette."

"I understand, but do you think it's smart for you to live in a city? I can feel how guilty you feel about what happened today. That should have never happened. That's all my fault. I'm so sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have left you while you were completing the transformation. I should have stayed and made sure your thirst was properly under control…"

"Jasper, stop," I put my hand on his chest to put an end to his rambling. "We're not going to sit here and talk about whose fault things may or may not be. The fact is it happened and it's not going to happen again. I can't let it."

"I can help you," he looks up at me.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… I'll stay here with you…if you want. I'll help you control your thirst."

"You will?"

"I know what it's like to be afraid of yourself."

"I know," I smile softly.

"You do?"

"Yeah, Alice told me how hard it was for you to convert to the vegetarian lifestyle…wait…Alice is going to be so devastated!" I can't believe I even care what she'll think of me kissing her husband. It's not like she cares about me. She up and left with the rest of them. Not a word otherwise, not a goodbye, not anything. So why do I?

"I don't see why she has to know," Jasper says.

"What? Of course, she'll know! She can see the future. For all, we know she already saw, and she's on her way to rip my head off right now!"

"Bella," he laughed. "Please."

"Why aren't you freaking out right now?"

"Why should I be?"

"She's your wife? And I just kissed you like three…four times!"

"Bella, we're divorced. I told you I left the clan and the clan includes Alice."

"Wait…" My jaw drops once again. They were the kind of couple I wanted Edward and myself to be. They were perfect. She worshiped him, and he worshipped her. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You. Left. Alice?"

"You sound surprised," He laughs.

"Well, yeah! What happened?"

"I just don't love her anymore…I mean not like I used to. I think a part of me will always love her, but more like a friend or a sister. We haven't been the same for a long time, and when Edward decided he wanted to go to Italy, I knew it was my time to end the relationship. We both knew it was coming."

"Wow," I blink. "I can't believe it. So, it's really just you here?"

"Just me," he nods.

"Just you," I smile. Something about that sounds perfect.

 _-rm-_

I called Charlie from my cell phone that night. I told him Juliette had a sleepover and I would be going out on a date, so he didn't need to wait up for us. I was surprised how easily I was able to lie to him and how easily he was convinced. I guess he didn't really have a reason to not believe me. After all, why would I lie? Not like I had some life-changing secret to tell- or not to tell. With Charlie taken care of, I wished Juliette was actually at a sleepover so I could talk to Jasper about what we were going to do next. I texted Angela and asked if she'd take her for the night. I told her I had a mountain of homework that needed to be caught up on. Of course, Angela agreed, and I said her Jasper would be dropping her off. That resulted in a phone call. Oops.

"Jasper? Like Jasper Cullen?" She spits.

"Look, I know it sounds weird."

"More than weird, Bella."

"Look, it's…it's complicated. I'll explain later," I say.

"Why not now?" She asks. It's not that I don't have the words to tell her, it's that I don't know how.

"I just can't. You're just going to have to trust me on this. Please, Ang," I beg, and I can hear her sigh on the phone.

"Fine, but I want to know what's going on in the morning."

"Fine," I reluctantly agree. "Jasper will be there soon with Juliette. Please make sure she doesn't talk you into staying up late."

"I won't," I can almost hear her rolling her eyes.

"I'm serious."

"I won't, you act like I let her stay up."

"You do," I say.

"Who says?" She asks.

"Juliette," I roll my eyes.

"It's hard to say no."

"You don't think I know that?" I laugh.

"I know, I know. I'll do my best."

"Stay strong, Ang," I laugh and hang up the phone and set it on the coffee table. I gaze out the window and watch the stars sparkle in the distance.

"Beautiful," Jasper says.

"Wh-what?" I think he's talking about me and if I could blush, I know I would. "I thought we weren't doing this."

"I meant the stars," he laughs.

"Oh, um, right. Sorry." I am really glad I can't blush anymore.

"How'd it go?" He asks.

"Surprisingly well."

"Why so surprised?"

"I don't know. I guess I just expected him to know. Or sense something was different about me. I'm not the best liar."

"Maybe it's because you don't like lying to him?"

"I think that's exactly it, but I've got us covered until tomorrow around 6 with Charlie. I am supposed to have class tomorrow from 9 until 4. I told him Juliette had a check-up after class and I'd take her for dinner afterward," I say.

"Okay, that gives us plenty of time to figure out what to do next."

"Right, oh, I called Angela. I bet you probably don't remember her."

"Your friend from high school? The one with the glasses, right?"

"Wow," I laugh.

"I can remember some things," he teases.

"Well, gee, thanks," I laugh again. "Anyway. I asked her if she could watch Juliette tonight so we wouldn't have any distractions." I say realizing how that sounded. "I mean to talk…about this."

He laughs, "I get it."

"So, I was wondering if you could drop her off at her house for me. I don't think I am strong enough to be around people yet."

"Of course, darlin'." He quickly covers his mouth realizing the little pet name he just called me. I can't help but laugh, and I can't reject the nickname, more importantly, I can't hardly resist the urge to kiss him again, but I fight it. I don't correct him on his nickname.

"I'll put her address in your phone," I reach out for him to put his phone in my hand, which he does. I type in the address on the screen and touch the little go button letting a robotic female's voice fill the space between us.

I followed Jasper out to the truck where Juliette was still sitting, happy as a clam watching her movie on her iPad. It was so beautiful outside, the temperature perfect for relaxing outside and enjoying the fresh air. I never noticed before how much noise there was out here-even with us being miles away from Forks. As the night settled in, so did the owls, the wolves, and the crickets. It was almost like each day they rested up for a night of performing in perfect harmony.

"Juliette?" I pull the headphones off of her head and pause her movie. "Uncle Jasper is going to take you to Angela's, okay? I want you to be good and go to bed on time," I say. Since she half lived at Angie's, she already had a wardrobe at her house and everything else she needed for the night, like a toothbrush and vitamins.

"Aww, but Mommy," she pouts.

"I know, but please?"

"…Alright."

"Thank you," I kiss her forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow night, alright? Angie will drop you off at school tomorrow."

"Okay," she nods and pushes play on the video again.

"I love you, my Julie-bear."

"Love you too, mama," she smiles and pulls her headphones back over her ears as Jasper comes over with the booster seat from my car.

"Good idea," I smile.

"I didn't like driving here without it," he says.

"Me either, but you did what needed to be done."

"Sure, sure," he nods as we get Juliette all settled in and hops in the driver's seat and drives off towards Seattle, not before sneaking a kiss though.

When Jasper left with Juliette, I did my best to sooth the burn in my chest. A hiker or maybe a climber is nearby. I can smell their blood pushing through their veins. My lips part and I can hear a snarl escape from my mouth. I cover my nose and mouth with my hands, but I can feel my body shifting into something monstrous. I fight the urge to completely lose it, but I know it's too late. I run into the house and close the door, hoping it'll provide some sort of barrier between the outside world and me, but it doesn't. Not even close. I damn near rip the door off its hinges and fly through the woods, quickly finding my next pray. He's close. His heart is beating nice and strong, and my mouth waters as his blood rolls like the ocean.

Hissing, I leap to the edge of the mountain, letting the wind blow the intoxicating scent in my face and my hair behind me.

"Bella," a voice softly says from behind me. The voice is calm and smooth and not Jasper's. It's someone else's. Someone who I thought-hoped I'd never see... or hear again. Turning to face the voice, I'm prepared for a fight, but no one is there.

"Hello?" I call out. No answer. Raking my fingers through my hair, I turn back to lunge down the mountain returning to my hunt.

"You're stronger than this," the same voice says-smooth and calm and velvety.

"Go away! You left me!" I stand back up, yelling towards the voice that I thought was done haunting me, but there was no answer, and I was suddenly aware I was just screaming at the wind in my own stupidity…which ruined my hunt. The climber below was long gone. Inhaling, I can still smell remains of their scent, but it's covered by exhaust which left me alone to look for the owner of the voice, regardless if I wanted to or not.


	9. chapter five: cinderella

_AN: Welcome to chapter five everyone! How's everyone doing out there? If you read the newest revisions, do you like them? I am really proud of how far this story has come since the original Remind Me and even the first chapters of the reprise version. For those of you who have constantly been reviewing, thank you! I love seeing your words. They make me so happy! I love sending you all teasers but remember I can't actually send you a teaser if you review as a guest. So, if you're reviewing and not getting your teasers from me, you are a guest user of fanfiction. If you'd like PM's from me with your teaser for reviewing, change your profile to a member of fanfiction so I can get you what I promised._

 _ **Song referenced in this chapter: Tim McGraw by Taylor Swift**_

 _By the way, I have made a spotify playlist for this fanfic if you all want something to listen to while your read. It's called "Remind me (and the songs of)" I'll try to link it here in the chapter. I plan on adding songs as the chapters go and inspiration hits. On the playlist are the songs from the original Remind Me as well as other songs I used for inspiration._

 _ **user/12129636679/playlist/0lU35ZCuYsNfRkY9i5Mdgs?si=HoBkfb3fQHGkeirLr2OajQ**_

 _I'd like to remind everyone that this story is rated_ _ **M**_ _for_ _ **mature content, heavy themes, and adult language. Especially in this chapter.**_

 _As always, a review gets you a sneak peak of the next chapter._

 _Reminder:_ _ **these aren't Stephenie Meyer's vampires**_

 _enjoy_

 **cinderella**

 **cullen home**

 **forks, washington**

 **jasper**

 **chapter five**

I never wished there was two of me more than the moment I left to take Juliette to Angela's house. Maybe I should have taken Peter with me or something. I knew it was killing Bella that she had killed two people in order to soothe the burn in her chest and I knew she'd do it again as soon as I left. It's only natural. The burn turns you into something unrecognizable, and it's enough to make you want to kill yourself, but I was so utterly in love with her already that I didn't want to let her down. As much as I wanted to ignore that feeling, I couldn't. She literally made my heart beat again. I wondered if she felt the same. We kissed, sure, but was it a _kiss_ or a transference thing. I couldn't be sure, and it drove me insane. I turned on the radio in attempt to drown my thoughts. I couldn't deal with that right now.

"Jasper?" Juliette's little voice asks.

"Um, yeah, what's up?" I turn the radio down and look at her in the review mirror. She looked so much like Bella, it was amazing, but she also had a lot of Edward in her too. Her hair was that same weird reddish- copper color, and she had Edward's cheekbones and nose. I knew that had to kill Bella, how much Juliette looked like Edward. I bet he's all she saw in her.

"Are you my daddy?" she asked. I blinked a few times before my brain could actually process her question. I needed to say no. No, Juliette, I'm not your daddy. But, I didn't _want_ to. I wanted to say yes. Yes, Juliette. I am your daddy. I wanted nothing more than to tell her I was her daddy and I wished Edward wasn't her daddy. She deserved so much better than him, regardless of if she knew him and he wasn't around or not. And I didn't know why. Was I feeling this way because her mother was my singer? Was there some sort of piggybacking when it came to singers? All I knew was I wanted to protect this little girl with everything I had. I wanted to keep her safe and away from the Volturi, Edward, and everything bad that could come her way. And I already knew I loved her like she was my own.

"Jasper?" she asks again.

"Uh, yeah, sorry," I say.

"You didn't answer me," she pouted.

"Right, what did you say?"

"Are you my daddy?"

"Oh, right, sorry," I say. "Um, why don't we figure that out later. What grade are you in?"

"So, you're not?" She asks. Wow, Charlotte wasn't lying. She was smart for her age.

"No…I'm sorry."

"It's okay." She says softly. "I was just kind of hoping you were. I've never met my daddy before. All my friends have one and mommy says I don't need a daddy, but I feel like I'm missing out because everyone has one except me." _Wow._

"How old are you, again?" I ask.

"Five and a half." She smiles proudly.

"Are you sure you're not 20?" I tease.

"I would be so old!" she giggled.

"What does that make me?" I tease.

"Old," she giggled. I didn't have the heart to tell her I was over 100 years old.

 _-rm-_

I was expecting a fight with Bella's friend when we got to her apartment, so I didn't know why I was surprised when Angela started copping an attitude with me. I hated that I was still associated with Edward. I guess I would be until this town forgot about me in 80 odd years. 80 years, that's not so bad, right? I roll my eyes at my thoughts and knock on the door, holding Juliette's hand.

"Jasper," Angela said, opening the door and folding her arms. She didn't really look that much different than the last time I saw her. Sure, her cheekbones and jawlines matured but she had the same whispy light brown hair pulled in a clip at the top of her head and rounded glasses. She was taller now, but I would have recognized her even if I wasn't here on some weird quest.

"Hey," I said. Juliette let go of my hand and ran into Angela's apartment.

"Juliette, there are fresh cookies on the counter," Angela called into the apartment.

"Okay!" Juliette yelled back as Angela pushed me outside and closed the door.

"What are you doing here?" She put her hands on her hips.

"Shouldn't you be watching her?"

"Why are you avoiding the question?"

"I'm just concerned about her," I say.

"So now you care?" Angela asks, adjusting the clip in her hair.

"Look, I just want to make sure Juliette is safe." I sigh.

"Not that I owe you an explanation, but Jessica is in there."

"Wait, Jessica? I thought you and Bella hated her." I say, remembering just how big of a bitch Jessica was in high school and how mean she was to Angela and Bella.

"Why does it matter to you? Your brother left Bella…pregnant…with his kid, and now you come back and want me to believe that you all the sudden care?"

"I'm not Edward," I say, leaning against the railing.

"No, but you're just as bad."

"Explain."

"You knew she was pregnant, and you let him leave."

"No, I didn't."

"I'm supposed to believe that?"

"Yes." I say.

"Why?" She asks.

"Because I didn't know. Edward didn't tell us. Our father would have not allowed Edward to run away from this." I say. She was silent for a while.

"Carlisle was always nice…"

"Yeah. He was."

"So, why are you back now?" she sat down in the lawn chair by her door.

"It's complicated," I say.

"Yeah, that's what Bella said." She pulls the sleeves of her hoodie down into her hands.

"She did?" I ask.

"Yeah, when she called earlier. So, what's so complicated? If you didn't know she was pregnant then why come back now. Is Edward here?"

"Edward isn't here," I tell her. "I don't know where he is. I don't really care."

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"When the rest of the family moved to Italy, I moved to Texas. My family has a ranch there that my brother has been taking care of." I explain.

"Wait, I thought you guys were moving to New York because Carlisle had a new job there and aren't the Cullen's your family. Isn't Edward your brother?"

"I was adopted," I said.

"But, you look so much like the rest of them, especially Carlisle."

"I know."

"That is complicated," she leans back and crosses her legs. "But it still doesn't explain why you came back."

I hold my breath, "can you keep a secret?"

"What does that mean?" She sits back up again and I know I have to tell her or there's no way I'll be able to stay near Bella, and I just don't think my heart could take being away from her.

"It means exactly what it means," I get up and sit on the step at the front of Angela's door, so I don't have to look at her when I tell her I'm a monster, and worse, that I made her best friend one too.

"I guess," she said. "Yeah, I can keep a secret. Why?"

"I'm a vampire," I say quietly.

"What?"

"I said: I'm a vampire."

She laughed, "yeah, sure you are. Now, really what's so complicated?"

"I'm telling you the truth."

"Sure, you are," she rolls her eyes. "I'm glad you brought Juliette here. She doesn't need to be around someone who needs serious medical help."

"You think I'm that insane?"

"Yes. I do." She says.

"Well, it's the truth."

"Oh, really then why are you outside? I thought vampires burst into flames if they were in the sun." She scoffs.

"Well, first off, it's dusk, and secondly that's a myth." I say.

"Okay, fine then where are your fangs?" She asks.

"Oh god," I roll my eyes.

"What is that some 'myth' too?"

"No, it's not. My fangs are retracted so you can't see them." I say.

"Retracted? So, un-retract them, if you're a vampire. Prove it."

"I can't," I said.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," she stands up. "I think we're done here."

"Look, it's not that I can't, I'm just not going to put you in danger like that." I say.

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"Usually our fangs retract when we're hunting as a reflex. Most of the time we don't even know it happens, but we can force them out." I explain.

"Hunting? You mean murdering?"

"Well, traditionally, yes. Vampires like the Cullen's are what Carlisle calls vegetarian." I say.

"Vegetarian vampirism?" She laughs. "Wow, you really have lost your mind, haven't you?"

"It's your choice if you want to believe me or not, but I'm telling you the truth."

"Sure, you are, but enlighten me. Please, go on." She says.

"I'm trying to protect you," I said. "If I force my fangs out, instinct will take over, and a hunt will start. I'll go ravenous. It's like when you feel like you have to sneeze, you can't stop it."

"So, you're saying they only way to prove to me that you are a vampire is that you'd have to kill me?" She asks.

"It'd be easier if you just believed me." I say.

"Fine," she sighed. "So, why haven't you?"

"Because I don't want to be a monster. That's why I'm a vegetarian."

"What the hell does that mean?" she asks.

"It means I survive off the blood of animals."

"That's not vegetarian at all." She folds her arms.

"I know, but for us it is. If we don't feed at all, it will kill us. If we don't feed on animal blood, then we go to humans as instinct, and if we go long enough, it will turn us into monsters, and if we manage to control the thirst even further, it will kill us. The venom in our bodies will overtake and freeze our bodies solid. It's one of the only two ways you can kill our kind."

"What's the other way?" She asks.

"Beheading."

"That's a little 15th century, don't you think?"

I laughed, "I do, but it's the only other way."

"Why are you telling me this?" She asks.

"Because you wanted to know why I came back."

"You came back because you're a vampire?" She asks.

"Well, sort of. Some vampires have gifts," I said. "We get them when were undergoing the change. No one knows why some of us get gifts and others don't."

"Do you have one?"

"I do. I can influence emotions, and I can feel them from other people. For example, right now I can tell you trust me even if you don't want to." I say.

"How do you know?" She asks.

"It's in your aura. I can see it."

"And what do you see?" She asks.

"Your aura is yellow, pink, and light blue, even if there is a little black around the edges." I say.

"What does that mean?"

"Well, the biggest color is yellow. It means you're smart and logical which is probably why you're having a hard time believing me about vampirism. The pink is close to your heart, and it's glowing. I'm guessing it's because you're so concerned about Bella and the reason I am here. It's a wonderful color to have. I don't see it enough in people." I smile softly.

"What about the black?" she asks.

"Black shows long-term unforgiveness and trust issues, but what's weird is that the color is settling at your hips," I say, closing my eyes when I feel her shift.

"My hips?" She asks.

"I feel grief…Angela," I ask, opening my eyes. I saw black the most in women in that area at the hospitals. "Did you have a miscarriage?"

"You can tell that?" She asks quietly.

"The black is moving to your heart. Bella doesn't know, does she?"

"You can't tell her." She says.

"Angela, why doesn't she know?"

"Because I didn't want her to. Please, it's not important." She stands up.

"Why didn't you tell her?" I ask.

"Because don't you think she has enough on her plate as it is? She needed someone strong to get her through everything, and I couldn't be weak."

"Wow," I said. "You're an amazing friend. I'm glad she has you."

"Thanks," she says softly.

"You know, if you leave black for too long in your aura, it can become permanent, and it will draw all the other colors into it."

"What does that mean?"

"Depression," I said.

"I don't want to talk about it with you." She said.

"I understand, just try to find someone you can. You have pink in your aura. I don't want to see you lose it."

"You don't? Why?"

"Because you are obviously very important to Bella."

"You really do care about her, don't you?"

"You have no idea," I say and explain to her about singers and how I changed Bella to save her life. The news was a bit much for Angela to take in, but I answered everything she wanted to know, and she promised to keep quiet about our secret. When I left, I felt a lot better knowing that at least one person in Bella's life didn't hate me anymore even if they weren't a hundred percent cool with me yet. I understand that these things take time.

 _-rm-_

I drove as fast as I could to get back to the house in Forks. I hate that I had to leave Bella for so long by herself. I know she can take care of herself, hell she's been taking care of herself and her daughter for so long, but this was a different story. I wanted to be responsible for my creation, just like Carlisle. I wanted him to be proud of me for 'raising' Bella right, just like he did for us. I wanted to save her. I wanted her to be my Cinderella even if she didn't need a Prince Charming, I wanted to be one for her. Bella came out of the house when I pulled up and sat on the front steps.

"Hey," I smile at her.

"Welcome back," she smiles back and the blood shifts in my body again causing me to gasp softly. I wonder if I am just losing my mind or if this is just how singers work. I'd have to call Carlisle as soon as possible to make sure I wasn't dying.

"Thanks," I sit down beside her on the steps.

"How'd it go with Angela?" She asks.

"As expected." I say.

"What do you mean?"

"I told her about us."

"About us as in vampires or as in… _us?"_ She draws a line in the air between herself and me.

"Um, both?"

"Why?" she asks.

"I wanted her to trust me, to know you and Juliette are safe with me around. I knew she wouldn't unless I told her the truth." I explain.

"Is she okay?"

"I think she will be," I say, keeping the miscarriage to myself. I figured Angela would tell Bella when and if she was ready.

"Thanks for taking Juliette over there. I know it couldn't have been easy for you. Angela holds a grudge. Sometimes more than me."

I laughed, "I noticed, but I think she's okay with me. I made it clear Edward wasn't here, and I wasn't a dick like him."

She lays her head on my shoulder, "you're not."

I smile and kiss the top of her head, "are you thirsty?"

"Oh, god, yes," I hear her close her eyes.

"Are _you_ okay?"

"No. I don't like how I killed those people…when you were gone, I almost did it again." She says.

"I know, we all have. That's why I want to teach you how to be a vegetarian too."

"You can do that?" She asked.

"Of course, want to go for a hunt?"

"Absolutely." She laughed and stood up.

 _-rm-_

I took Bella to one of my favorite spots to hunt while we were in Forks. It was in this beautiful meadow that had a million white daisies and sunflowers. The meadow became visible once you got out of the tree line. You could see every star in the sky there and down the hill was a lake where the moon shined like a spotlight.

"What is this place?" Bella asked.

"My favorite place in Washington," I say.

"It's beautiful," she smiles, looking down at the lake.

"Beautiful," I smile, still looking at her. I shake my head. "Anyway, ready for your first lesson?"

"I think so," she nods slowly.

"Don't be afraid," I say, "you can do this."

"I can? Are you sure?"

"I'm positive, I'm right here beside you."

"…alright…what do I do first?" She asks.

"Well, first we need to train your senses to tell you that you're thirsty before you go ravenous. That's what happened today after your change," I explain, keeping my thoughts to myself on how I should have been there like Carlisle was for me that first night.

"When you start feeding on animal blood, you'll need to feed more often than if you were on human blood, but it's worth it knowing you're not killing people," I say.

"I don't want to kill people," Bella said.

"I know, so let's train your senses to find and want animal blood. You're not going to want it, and your body will probably reject it a few times, but once you start on the animal blood, it'll be easier to stick to it and ignore the want for human blood."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," I laughed. "The first thing you'll notice is that animal blood smells different than human blood, and every animal has a different scent. You're probably not picking up on it yet, but I'll show you how. Deer usually come up to this lake to get a drink every night. We'll wait here for them to come. I think it'll be easier to focus your vampire instinct on the blood of the deer if you're not distracted because you're actively trying to smell one."

She nods, "okay. I trust you."

"Thanks," I smile and lay down on my stomach at the top of the hill, so we were hidden by the grass but still had a good view of the lake. Bella followed my lead.

"Thanks for looking after me," she quietly says, laying her head on her folded hands, looking at me.

"You think I'd change you and leave you to figure out what you'd become on your own?" I ask, looking into her eyes. I know I've seen more than my fair share of newborn vampire blood red eyes in my life, but hers were different. They were so special. I could see her aura through them, and it was beautiful.

"It's happened before," she closes her eyes.

"I know," I say. "But I'm not like that. I promise."

"…I believe you." She softly says and opens her eyes again. I smile like an idiot I'm sure, but try to play it cool. I can't help but be captivated by her aura though, and I continue to stare into her eyes.

"What?" she turns her head back towards the lake.

"I'm sorry, have I made you uncomfortable?"

"No, just wondering what you're staring at."

"Your aura."

"My what?"

"Your aura, I can see it. It's shining so bright, and it's beautiful." I smile.

"Um, thanks?" She laughs.

"Trust me. It's a compliment." I laugh.

"Well thank you, I think." She smiles, looking back at me.

"Man, your eyes put the stars to shame."

"Now, that's a lie." She rolled her eyes.

"I wouldn't lie. Trust me," I smile and kiss Bella's forehead softly.

"About that, you would." She giggles and pushes me away playfully.

"Never," I promise as a deer stumbles through the clearing to the lake. Bella's head snaps towards the noise.

"Easy," I whisper. "You don't want to spook it."

"Right, sorry."

"Don't apologize. Now, do you hear the others coming behind her?" I ask.

"I think so. There's…three more?"

"Good job," I smile proudly. "Now, on my count, we will sprint towards them. Take a doe, they are easier and have a less gamey taste. Your body will know what to do. Ready?"

"I…I think so."

"You can do it, okay? Ready, go," we both stand and fly down the hill before the deer even realize we're there. I quickly take my deer down with ease and watch Bella struggle with hers.

"Find the jugular and bite down!"

"I got it!" She does and starts drinking. I watch her face twist in disgust.

"I know, it's not great, but just try to keep it down," I say, then start drinking my own deer.

"My god," Bella said once she finished. Her clothes were ripped, and she had blood splatted over her chest and face. "That was awful."

"I know," I said. "It's going to be terrible the first couple times. It'll get better. I promise."

"It better," she gags.

I laugh softly, "come here. Maybe this will make it taste better."

"What?" She asks, scooting over to me.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes." She says/

"If this gets too much, tell me, okay? And we'll stop."

"What are we doing?" She asks.

"It's hard to explain, you'll have to trust me, but you're in control."

"…alright." She says, I brush her tangled, blood matted hair back and kiss her lips softly.

"I'm going to show you how to do this then you can do it to me. This is a kind of bonding singers share. Only singers can do it. I don't know why." I say and kiss her neck where her heart would be beating. I gently pierce my fangs into her flesh and drink some of the blood she had just taken from the deer. And it feels amazing. It tastes even better. The blood moves through my mouth and down my throat causing my heart to jump inside my chest. I gasp and seal the reopened wounds on Bella's neck with my venom. I hear her gasping too.

"What. Was. That?" She pants.

"Amazing is what it was," and I kiss her again, this time with more passion and lust than ever before, but she was kissing me back with just as much force. She finally pushed me away.

"Stop," she moans.

"I know," I quickly say, "I'm sorry."

"I just want to take this slow…you know…whatever we are."

"I couldn't agree more."

"No matter how amazing that was." She says, looking away.

"I know." I nod, "do you want to drink from me?"

"Next time?" She asks. "I don't know if I can control myself yet."

"If that's what you want," I smile, and she hugs me.

"Thanks for understanding."

"You don't have to thank me."

"Yes, I do." She stays curled into my chest where I hold her until the sun rises through the trees.

 _-rm-_

The next morning, we took our time getting back to the Cullen house. As we were walking, Bella took another shot at taking a deer, and she excelled wonderfully.

"How'd I do?" She ran up to me like a kid to their favorite teacher, only wanting their approval.

"Amazing. You're getting the hang of it. How's the animal blood settling?"

"Okay, I think," she says.

"Good, let me know if something changes." I smile at her. She nods and slowly reaches over and grabs my hand. I squeeze it softly.

"Jasper?"

"Yeah, darlin'?"

"I…I don't think I feel comfortable with this."

"With me holding your hand?"

"What? No. Me learning vampirism by myself in such a big city. I don't think I'll be able to control myself. I don't know how." She says.

"I know, I'm more than happy to stay here with you until you are. I mean, if you want me too."

"I know you are, but that's not fair to you."

"I don't care," I say.

"I know, but I do." She says.

"Well…"

"What?"

"Have you ever wanted to see Texas?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean my brother and I have been planning on building a guest house on the property. You and Juliette could live there until you feel comfortable enough to move back to Seattle."

"I can't move to Texas, what about Charlie? And school?"

"You can do online classes," I suggest.

"That's true…and Charlie has Sue and the twins to keep him occupied now too. My dad got married, and he has two new babies to take care of since you guys left." She explains.

"Well, it's up to you."

"…let's do it." She smiles.

"Really?" I smile at her.

"Yeah, I've wanted to get out of Charlie's house for a long time now anyway."

"Great, I'll call Peter when we get back to the house and tell him we're on our way."

"Wait, I want to say goodbye first though."

I laugh, "of course."

"But what about my eyes? They're so red. I don't want to expose vampirism to him. He has enough on his plate."

"I bet Alice left some contacts somewhere in her room when they moved. I'll look for them." I say.

"Awesome," she smiles and leans into me.

 _-rm-_

When we get back to the Cullen's house, I found that I was right about Alice. There was a pair of brown contacts in her desk, and Bella puts them in and takes a shower with the soap I brought from Texas. I let her borrow on of my flannel shirts and we find a pair of jeans in Rosalie's closet that fits her, and I am in complete aww over how amazing Bella looks in my shirt, like goddamn. Luckily the girls in that family had more than enough clothes to leave everywhere we lived. We take my truck to Seattle and pick up Juliette at Angela's, and Bella explains to her that she's moving to Texas with me. Angela tries to talk Bella out of it, but she promises she'll move home soon, which breaks my heart, but I try not to let that be visible. We head to Charlie's, and Bella unbuckles Juliette from her booster seat.

"Alright, Julie, I want you to go upstairs and start getting the toys you want to bring with us." Bella says.

"Where are we going, mommy?" Juliette asks.

"We're going to stay with Jasper for a while," Bella says.

"On my ranch in Texas," I add. "I have ponies."

"Can grandpa and grandma and Seth and Leah come too?" Juliette asks.

"I don't think so, baby."

"Why not?" Juliette asks.

"Because Grandpa and Grandma have to stay here for their jobs."

"But, I'll miss them," Juliette says.

"I know, so will I, but don't worry we're going to have a lot of fun at Jasper's house," Bella says.

"Promise?" Juliette asks.

"Pinky promise," Bella smiles at her and she leads us to the door. Charlie beats us and opens the door. With first sight of me, he punches me right in the mouth.


End file.
